The Art of Letting Go
by xXFindingForeverXx
Summary: She wants her own child, one whose love she doesn't have to constantly compete for. He's finally moving on past the lost of his wife. They come together in a seedy bar, both struggling to master the art of letting go.
1. Chapter 1

The Soggy Siren was a smoke filled hole-in-the-wall if she had ever seen one. The walls were all dark wood panels that almost matched the creaky wood floors perfectly. The overhead lights were dim, casting the near empty pub in a soft orange light. There were booths with red pleather seats that faced slanted table tops and she thought for a moment that she could slide into the one farthest to the back and just disappear with no one ever being the wiser. Instead of that though, despite how tempting it was, Regina made her way to the bar counter and placed her bottom on one of the backless stools.

Now seated, she took a moment to once again look over just where she had decided to spend most of her night and, if she was feeling particularly miserable, the very wee hours of the coming morning drowning in a few glasses of cheap wine.

The establishment was small, which she suspected had something to do with trying to create an air of intimacy. There were large pictures and small pictures alike scattered along the walls. Most of them photos with scribbled autographs by long dead famous figures that she was sure had never actually frequented The Soggy Siren a day in their lives. Bowls of peanuts and pork skins littered the long bar counter in front of her. She had eaten earlier so they didn't interest her much. And last, though not least, were the four other patrons spread out in nearly every small corner of the place.

There was a woman with a bright red wig and smeared lipstick who looked like she had been crying for all the years she had been alive, which was sad seeing as she could only have been in her early to mid-twenties. Across from her was an older man smoking a cigar while looking every so often at his watch and then to the young woman. His crooked smile rubbed Regina completely the wrong way so she turned from him just as soon as she had looked over at him. Closest to the door sat another older man, who was probably somewhere in his early fifties. His head was down which effectively hid his face from her roving eyes. He looked to be sleeping. And then there was the handsome man sitting right beside her. She hadn't noticed him before but he looked very _very_ different from the other three patrons.

The first thing she took note of was his height. He had to be well into six feet with how long his legs seemed. And he was handsome, ruggedly so. He seemed like the type of man who spent time in the mountains foraging for food and chopping down trees. His hair was a sandy blond and he had a bit of scruff on his chin. She only hoped that the rest of him was as handsome as his side profile than.

"I'm Robin," he murmured softly without turning to look at her. Regina turned her head and pressed the backs of her hands against her inflamed cheeks, he had caught her _oogling _him. How embarrassing. He was probably like her, trying to drown away his thoughts in a glass of fire water and here she was disturbing him with her staring.

Hadn't she come here to get away from prying eyes? And now, it seemed, that she was doing just the thing she'd been trying to avoid.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you. I was staring too, though a bit more subtly," he, Robin, said with a slight smile. She could see the corner of his eye crinkle and shift to look at her. He turned fully to her now and she had to take a moment to catch her breath. He was gorgeous.

His eyes were a bright blue and filled with laughter. His skin seemed blemish free and smooth. She wanted to reach a hand out and run just one finger down the side of his dimpled cheeks just to see if his skin was as flawless as it seemed. And his dimples were so deep and… and… _unf_!

"Are you drinking anything specific? Let me buy you a drink," Robin offered with a gesture of his hand towards the bottles that lined the shelved wall they faced. She shook her head quickly.

"That won't be necessary but thank you," she murmured before turning to look for the barkeep.

"I insist. Think of it as an apology for embarrassing you," Robin joked good-humoredly. Regina rolled her eyes and bit back her own growing smile.

"I wasn't embarrassed. Just a bit surprised that you noticed me looking," she said, shifting to sit up straighter. Robin laughed heartily at her display before tapping on the countertop a few times. Moments later an older man with wispy gray hair came to the front, ready to take their orders.

"Can I get a glass of your house red, please? Two glasses," she stated with a nod.

"And put it on my tab, Ollie," Robin interjected quickly before Regina could even reach into her purse. She turned and narrowed her eyes at him which just earned her another smile.

"I can pay for my own drinks," she stated sternly. Robin threw up both his hands as if to deflect her comment.

"I have no doubt of that, milady. I was only being a gentleman. It's against my code to allow someone so lovely to pay for her own drink." Regina grinned at this. It's been a long time since anyone called her anything as sweet as 'lovely', she usually gets something more along the lines of 'bitch'.

"Well when you put it like that how can I possibly refuse," she throws back. His grin grows wider than before and Regina has to once again turn away from him. Something about his smile makes her heart do flips and summersaults. It's been a long time since she's sat and made polite conversation with any man and a longer time still since she's felt her heart do anything but constrict painfully.

"Do you have a child?" he asked suddenly. She furrowed her brow and nodded her head slowly in the affirmative.

"I only ask because of your bracelet," he said swiftly, as if sensing her confusion.

She looked down and smiled as she spots the familiar bracelet. It's the one Henry made for her in his kindergarten class. It was his Valentine's gift to her; made of macaroni, red heart shaped beads, and black yarn. It was quite possibly her favorite piece of jewelry.

"Yeah, he's thirteen. He made this when he was just four," she sighs wistfully. Robin smiled and nodded his head in understanding before pulling the black sleeve of his button up to show her his own bracelet.

"They're called silly bands or something like that. My boy loves them because they come in different animal shapes. I'm not sure how he did it but he weaved a few together and now I'm forbidden to remove it," he admitted with a proud laugh. Regina found herself smiling.

"How old is he?" she asked curiously, taking a sip of her first glass.

"Ah, he's only four but damn if the boy isn't my whole heart," Robin sighed softly. Regina's smile slips in that moment, remembering when her own son was a once small little darling, lovely in every way. Where had the time gone?

"Something wrong?" Robin questioned, noticing her silence. Regina shook her head and let out a shuttering breath.

"Are you okay? Something happen to your boy?" he worried, his mouth now set in a firm frown.

"No I… my son is adopted and now his birth mother is the picture and I… oh gosh, I'm going to cry," she choked out after a silent second. She quickly wiped the tears that spilled forth while Robin gently rubbed her back in soothing circles. She took a few more moments to silently cry before downing the rest of her first glass of wine.

"I take it that you and this woman don't rightly get along?" Robin inquired.

"No, that's not it. Emma's a good mother. She's a good person. Sometimes we disagree but I know she'd do anything for Henry, my… our son. I just feel like I'm losing him. He looks at her like she's the sun, the moon, and the stars. He used to look at me like that but not so much now. And today he asked me if he could live with her for the coming school year, in New York. He promises it's only for this year but I just know that once he's there he'll never want to come back to me," she answered shakily. Robin tensed as she let out a choked cry.

"I don't really know you but you seem like a wonderful woman to me. And I imagine you're and even better mom. Henry, your son, is probably just excited at the prospect of going to a new place and meeting new people. I can't imagine he'll stay away for very long. Teenagers always think the grass is greener on the other side, if you know what I mean," Robin concluded, his hand still rubbing her back. Regina took in a deep breath and nodded her head slowly.

"I'm just… I'm scared to be honest I don't want to lose him by holding on too tightly or by just letting him go without any sort of fight."

"I think the important thing to remember is that he asked you for permission to leave. If he really didn't care about you or about what you thought he'd have just left," Robin stated, offering her a slight smile.

"I guess…. Why are you here?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation away from herself.

"Well I figured having a breakdown in front of my four year old was out of the question so I asked my mate to babysit for the night while I drink myself blind," he admitted.

"A breakdown? You seem rather composed from where I'm sitting," Regina said while wiping the tear trails from her cheeks.

"That's because you missed it, milady. I was a mess right before you showed up looking like a very hot school principal," he joked.

"Principal? Is that what this outfit says?" Regina asked, feigning outrage. He lets out another laugh again at this. In that moment she decides that she likes his laugh. It's deep, and robust, and fresh like recently turned soil.

When his laughter dies off they sit in silence once again, her sipping her drink and him worrying his bottom lip with his top teeth.

"My wife's birthday is today and it's a sort of ritual I have where I get completely pissed in the night and wake the next morning without remembering who I am," he says quickly, Regina's eyes go wide as she places the glass in her hand down.

"I'm sorry," Regina responds somberly after a second spent fixing her face. Robin shakes his head and shrugs.

"She's been lost to me for a long time. I don't really feel… I'm not missing her like I used to," he admits. Regina knows the feeling.

"So then you weren't going to breakdown, then?" she wonders out loud.

"No, I was. But not because I miss her… but because I don't, at least, not how I used to. It's a queer feeling. I loved her so much I thought for the longest time than once Roland, my son, was old enough I'd just go and join her in the land of the lost. Now I just want to live. And not only for him but for myself too," he surmised. Regina cocks her head to the side and offers him a gentle smile. She's been in his position before.

"Tis the art of letting go, I know the feeling. I'm Regina, by the way," she stated after realizing that she hadn't offered her name earlier.

"Nice to meet you Regina," Robin smirked.

* * *

><p>It's well past one in the morning and she isn't entirely sure whose house they're in, though she figures it probably isn't hers since she doesn't see any of Henry's shoes by the door. They'd talked and drank with one another for what seemed like hours. The only time they'd stopped was when Regina had asked him to hold on so that she could offer her card to the redhead in the corner. The young woman had offered her a watery smile and her thanks.<p>

Regina had spent enough time working with abused and battered women to know that she might have saved a life that night. They set up a meeting for Tuesday which was two days away and Regina felt much better about herself. Even if Henry didn't think he needed her there were plenty of people out there who probably did.

Robin had been impressed and they talked about their professions afterwards, once she'd made sure the girl had somewhere to sleep that night and a way to get there. She explained she was the director of a small organization dedicated to helping battered and abused women and girls transition from their abusive situations and into less toxic lives. He told her he owned his own landscaping company.

During their talk she'd realized how much they seemed to have in common. Both of them had sons, both of them were married right out of college (or Uni for him), they both loved Prince, and they both seemed to find each other extremely attractive.

And that's how they'd ended up here. She still wasn't too sure whose house this was but, to be honest, she wasn't too concerned with it either. All she could really focus on was the feel of his fingers trailing up her spine and of his lips pressed hotly against hers.

He pulled back from their kiss and offered her a soft smile before leading her to what she could only hope was a bedroom.

She wasn't disappointed.

It was a large room with an even bigger bed that seemed to take up most of the space. There were two (oak?) dressers against the wall next to the door, the tops of which were littered with picture frames that she couldn't really see the contents of from where she was standing. There were two large windows opposite of her that offered a beautiful view of the city. DC truly was a gorgeous place at night.

"Do you still…?" She nodded her head and stopped him form continuing his thought with a sweet kiss. He was pretty tall and she had to cock her head back pretty far while standing on her tippy-toes to reach his lips. It's all worth it, though. He tastes like pumpkin and beer and something spicy that she can't put her finger on.

After that they are frenzied. Clothes are removed and thrown into the ether. She has a feeling that she won't be able to find her panties in the morning and doesn't really mind.

She's on her back before she knows it and he's hovering over her like a hawk ready to swoop down for its dinner. Then they're kissing again, all tongue and teeth and she loves it. He feels so good under her fingertips. Feels good pressed against her.

Then he's not kissing her lips anymore and instead he's made his way down to her breasts, leaving a trail of burning licks and nips in his wake. She gasps and sputters when he takes one of her dusky nipples between his lips. She cries out when he uses his teeth and hisses in pleasure when he licks away the slight pain.

Soon it is too much and she can feel that white hot pleasure mounting in her lower belly. It's been so long since anyone has showed her such attention and she can feel her body is ready, so deliriously ready, for him.

"Please," she pleaded, not too sure what she was actually pleading for. She just knows that something is missing and he can give it to her, only him.

"Regina," he whimpers once he slides home. She shivers and quakes as her walls flutter around his hot thickness. Her first orgasm of the night rips through her like a tsunami.

"There's many more where that came from," he promises.

* * *

><p><strong>An: Hey guys. I hope you enjoy. I'm not sure I'll actually continue this, though want to. I'm just not sure I'll be able to motivate myself to do it. Either way please leave me a review and let me know what you think. And sorry if it's not as hot as you thought it would be, I'm still practicing with erotica.**

**And I'm sorry for any mistakes you spot. I've read it over since I posted it in the middle of a sleepy hazed and fixed the small things that I noticed but I'm not perfect so I may have missed a few things.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter and I feel like it shows. However after writing like three other versions I settled on this one because it was the closest to what I had originally wanted.**

**Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this and I promise that the next chapter will be better.**

* * *

><p>"Regina, darling!" a rather sultry voice called from behind her. Regina quickly turned in her seat and smiled fondly at her oldest friend. Mallory Cormier has known Regina since they were both just two rather misunderstood girls with an obsession with everything Shakespeare.<p>

Regina can still remember how her friend's face was wide and long filled with unsightly acne. Her hair a train wreck of blond bushy curls that made her look far too slim in her acid washed overalls. When they both had been gangly teens who couldn't even imagine being somewhat attractive and now look at them.

Mallory has filled out expertly. She had always been rather tall but now she nearly towered over Regina who stood quickly to hug her dearest friend. Her figure has filled out, her hair was worn in a tight bun that allowed her shinning blue eyes to really pop. All in all she looked _amazing_. And happy.

"So how are things with you?" Regina asked once they had finally sat down at her reserved table.

Mallory offered her friend a coy smile as she settled into her seat and began leafing through her menu.

"I have some news, actually," she offered as she avoided making eye contact with Regina. Regina lifted a brow and regarded her friend coolly. Mallory's idea of news was… different. Her friend was the type that usually went through major life moments alone and then came six or seven months later to tell her about it. It was the one thing she couldn't stand about the woman.

"The cancer hasn't come back has it?" Regina asked, worried, her hand reaching across the table to firmly grab that of her friend's. Mallory looked up then and shook her head with a smile.

"Nothing bad. I promise," she said clearly before looking back down at her menu. Regina rolled her eyes but nodded nonetheless.

"Well?"

"I'm thinking about getting the ceviche. What about you, darling?" Mallory asked, effectively deflecting Regina's question.

"Ceviche, really? Mal, if you don't tell me this news right now I'm going to shake you," Regina threatened. Mallory looked up finally and smiled widely before lifting her left hand to show off her newly adorned ring finger.

"Okay, fine. I'm getting married," she gushed. Regina gasped, her hand flying to cover her beating heart, as stray happy tears sprang to her eyes.

"I can't… are you… what? When did this happen? I just talking to you last weekend!" Regina hissed once her shock had worn off.

"I've been seeing someone for a while, actually. I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure how serious things were but now I am officially an engaged woman," Mallory said with a slightly dreamy smile. Regina took her friend's hand again and gave in an extra right squeeze.

"I'm so happy for you," she sighed sincerely. It was odd, hearing such news from her friend, especially with how her own life had been going recently. She wanted to be the one sharing news like this, one day. Not like before, when she'd gotten married and become a widow all in the same day.

"Thank you, really. I was worried about telling you because I know how things have been with Henry these past few years. I…," Mallory trailed off. They both knew what she meant. They'd been friends a long time and knew just how 'down in the dumps' Regina could get when triggered.

"Ah, no, I understand. I've been better recently," Regina said with a slight nod of her head and then it was her turn to be the one avoiding her friend's gaze.

"Well, no matter. Tell what's been going on with you? You look different today," Mallory commented idly. Regina blushed and coughed before shrugging. Her thoughts had automatically went back her rather fun filled night.

"Henry wants to move to New York with Emma," Regina blurted.

"Really, are you opposed? It could be good for him," Mallory stated, her eyes watching very closely for a reaction from her friend. In no time she was rewarded with the sight of Regina's shoulders and jaw tensing before going lax again with what seemed to be exhaustion.

"I know, I know. I'm just scared. I don't want to lose him," Regina admitted.

"I think the best thing for you to do is talk to Henry and if you can't do that then talk to Emma. She's a sensible woman and she respects you. As much as you may not like it, Henry has two parents now. Two parents who need to work better together to ensure their son's happiness. I'm sure she'll be willing to work something out with you," Mallory adviced. Regina thought it over and sucked her teeth. It made sense. Emma was a lot of things but she wasn't cruel. She'd understand Regina's feelings better than anyone and maybe they could work together in creating a working plan for how to share Henry.

"Now, enough about that. I love my g-dson, I do, however I wasn't asking after him. I was asking after you. How was your weekend?"

* * *

><p><em>She wakes with a start, hungry. She shifts so that she is facing him in his ever expansive bed. He has one arm thrown around her waist and the other is spread across his face as if trying to deflect the lazy rays of sunlight filtering in through the bare window panes.<em>

_She wants to touch him all over. Trail her lips against ever bit of bare skin. Longs to feel him stretching her oh so deliciously._

_Instead she keeps her hands to herself and opts to just watch him sleep. She always tells her girls that there is no sex without consent and she knows that sleeping individuals cannot give consent. She has self-control. She can wait._

_So, while he snores ever so lightly, she thinks over what her day will be like._

_She has a meeting with two of her big sponsors that isn't until the afternoon. Mary Margaret opens the office on Mondays so she doesn't have to worry about that either. And, of course, Henry is spending his day with a visiting Emma so all in all she has nothing to do._

_Maybe she'd go for a walk and call her father and check up on him and her mother. She's avoided calling Cora for the past few years, at all costs, and her boredom won't change that but that doesn't stop her from worrying about her mother's wellbeing. But if she called her father would undoubtedly mention her step-sister and she didn't want that. She had never liked Zelena and the feeling was surely mutual. She hated hearing about what 'dear Leenie' was up to._

_So no, it seemed calling her father just wasn't in the cards._

_Maybe she'd pay her friend Mallory a visit. It had been a while since they'd last seen one another. It would be nice seeing her. Yeah that was a good plan. And perhaps Malory could offer her some advice about her situation with Henry. Yes, she would leave and call her as soon as possible._

_Just as she made to get up she felt his arm pull her closer to his hard chest. He was so warm and his taunt muscles felt wonderful against her soft skin._

_"__Trying to escape, milady?" Robin slurred voice thick with the last dredges of sleep._

_"__Do… well… yes. I-I was going to call a friend," she responded with a slight blush._

_"__Don't leave now, you feel so plush," he grumbled as he pulled her even closer to him until she was nearly on top of him._

_Plush? Had she put on weight since last night?_

_"__I need to get home so that I can get ready for my lunch date," she murmured as she tried to extract herself from his grip. Robin rolled over and sat up at that, a frown tugging on his plump lips._

_"__Lunch date?" Regina nodded dumbly for a minute before realizing exactly what he was asking. He thought she was going to jump from sleeping with him to going to entertain another man. She smiled at this. Did that mean he liked her?_

_"__Oh yes, with my friend Mallory. I haven't seen her in a while," she clarified. He nodded and then smiled wide once again before pressing a kiss on her temple._

_"__How about I take you for a quick breakfast? I thought maybe… never mind it was a silly idea," he muttered under his breath. Regina raises a brow at this, he hardly seems like the type of man who shies away saying what's on his mind._

_"__Thought what, Robin?"_

_"__You mentioned that you didn't have to be into work until the evening today. I had hoped to take you out. In hindsight it was a silly thought. You're probably a busy woman," Robin murmured with a wince, as if physically repulsed by his own words. Before Regina could even work up a response they were accosted by the sound of the front door slamming shut and the sound of very small feet running in their direction._

_His bedroom door flew open after a moment and revealed one of the most precious faces Regina had ever seen. The boy was small with cherubic features. Tiny feet connected to short legs that lead to a skinny little torso from which two flailing arms sprouted and then up to a face she could only compare to that of angels. His deep dimples stood out in his smiling face with bright brown eyes and curls to match._

_"__Papa!" he screamed before slipping out of his shoes and throwing himself onto Robin who expertly caught the excited four year old. Regina pulled up the cover and held it tightly to her body as another figure appeared in the doorway._

_"__Robin, sorry but there isn't any food in my… oh, you have company," the large man in the doorway said before turning and walking in the direction of the living room, obviously trying to give the three a bit of privacy. In that moment Roland turned his sights on her and offered her an endearing grin._

_"__Who're you?" the boy asked innocently. Regina coughed and looked over to Robin for help. He grimaced before turning his son around in his arms to look at him._

_"__She's my friend, Regina. We were had a sleepover yesterday. Like you and Little John," Robin said quickly. Roland nodded his head and turned back to look at Regina. He wiggled his way out of his father's arms and moved closer to Regina._

_"__Are you going to sleep over again tonight, 'Gina?" Roland asked with a smile. Regina smiled back and shook her head before pinching his cheek good-naturedly._

_"__I'm afraid not. I have to go to work and then I'll be spending time with my own son," Regina explained softly. Roland's eyes lit up at this._

_"__Oh, how old is he? What's his name? Can I play with him?" Roland asked, standing to jump on the bed. Robin sent him a quick glare which got him to sit down just as quickly as he'd stood._

_"__Well he's thirteen, his name is Henry, and I'm sure he'd love to play with you but he's been very busy lately so I'm not sure when he'll have time to," Regina explained._

_Roland pouted at this and nodded his head solemnly. Regina bit her lip to keep from smiling, he reminded her of Henry when he was little and hadn't gotten his way._

_"__Maybe instead we could go and get ice cream sometime? Just me, you, and your papa?" Regina offered before even realizing what she had even said. Roland nodded enthusiastically at this and hopped off the bed._

_"__I'm going to tell Uncle John!" he cried in glee before rushing from the room. Robin stood then and moved quickly to push the door closed. They both stared at each other for a long moment before moving to pull of their respective clothes. Regina was the first to speak._

_"__I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to Roland. It was presumptuous of me," she said quickly as she slipped her shoes on._

_"__Regina, I… I hope you aren't taking it back now. I know two very excited Locksley men who would love to get ice cream with you," he said with a soft smile. Regina looked up and blushed under his intense gaze._

* * *

><p>"Well, I may have met someone," she said after a moment of silence.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah so the next chapter will probably be out next week at about roughly the same time and day as this one.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Monday evening is spent with Henry and Emma watching some animated movie Regina probably would have never seen on her own. Henry and Emma know just about all the lines and it fills her heart with something that is both warm and bone chilling. The night is filled with their laughter and Regina chooses to bask in their positivity instead of wallowing in her own self-pity.

That night she has a long talk with Emma once Henry goes off to bed. At first Emma is defensive of her relationship with Henry but as the night goes on they reach a trepidatious understanding. Regina realizes that she has spent nearly three years avoiding talking to the birth mother of her child and it makes her ashamed of herself. So they both resolve to talk more with hopes that they'll be able to start actually co-parenting.

Before they go their separate way for the night, Regina to her room and Emma to the guestroom, Emma promises to have a talk with Henry.

Regina still isn't sure about letting him go off _traipsing_ around New York, at least not this school year, but she can see herself letting him go in the future. Just not the near future.

* * *

><p>The redhead, her name is Ruby, shows up on Tuesday, earlier than Regina had expected. Today she forgoes the wig and wears what Regina suspects is her natural brown hair. It's pretty and long and reminds Regina of her own hair during college. With a lot less teasing and hairspray.<p>

Regina is running group and invites Ruby to sit in so she can see some of what she can expect of their program. The other women are kind as they introduce themselves. They all work hard to make Ruby comfortable and Regina glows with pride. She can still remember when each of them has first joined; all of them were skittish and nervous.

They've all come a long way and she suspects Ruby will be much the same.

She takes a moment to notice how drawn to Mary Margaret Ruby is. It's no surprise, really. All the girls are. Mary Margaret has a lightness about her that just draws people in. Regina is all hard edges and business where Mary Margaret is like a sweet glass of tea. It is their differences that make them such a wonderful watch in the work place. Sometimes Regina forgets how to be sociable and Mary Margaret takes over, letting Regina gather herself back up.

* * *

><p>Group goes well and her meeting with Ruby is much the same, she allows Mary Margaret to show the younger woman around afterwards with hopes that it will help Ruby open up just a bit more. The girl is guarded and hides her insecurities behind a promiscuous nonchalance. Regina has seen it before, has been that girl herself even, once upon a time. She knows it will be slow going but she hopes that in time Ruby will be able to move past her demons.<p>

When their meeting is done Regina takes a few minutes to get herself together, finding that through her talk with Ruby she'd allowed a few tears to fall. She can't help but to empathize with the women of her group. Their struggles feel much like her own and it makes her extremely hopeful too. Every day may be a struggle for her and for them but she knows without a doubt that it is a struggle they can overcome.

"Regina, what are your plans for this evening?" Mary Margaret asks with a smile on her chubby face, her head poking in through the cracked door of Regina's office. The younger woman has a glow about her, which Regina suspects is due to the growing life in her womb. Pregnancy suits her in a way that Regina is sure would never actually fit herself.

"I'm staying late tonight. I have to finish some paperwork and then I've promised Henry that I'd take him out to eat at his favorite pizza parlor," Regina answers as she shifts through the files on her desk. When she hears Mary Margaret sigh she lifts her head in concern.

"Is something the matter, dear?"

Mary Margaret shakes her head before shuffling into the room and sitting down in one of the plush leather chairs in front of Regina's desk. She places a hand on her belly and rubs it for a few moments before finally looking back to Regina.

"David has a friend from work, August, that I thought you'd like. We invited him over and we were hoping…" she leaves the rest of her sentence hanging. Regina raises a finely manicured brow and rolls her eyes. She doesn't need to be set up.

"No thank you, Mary Margaret. I've actually… met someone," she admits after the long pause. She sighs when she hears Mary Margaret's gasp of surprise. Could it be so hard to believe that she hasn't just been cooped up all alone in her house… well technically she has but she's determined not to anymore. She's been texting Robin since Monday morning and she finds that she quite likes him, even when he wakes her at the asscrack of dawn with pictures of him and his boy getting ready for the morning.

"Tell me all about him!"

* * *

><p>That night, instead of spending a nice night with Henry over a large pizza pie they argue.<p>

"What did you say to my mom? She said she can't take with her to New York anymore, why?" he asks when she walks in the door. At first she is surprised to even find him in the house at this time because usually he's still hanging out with his friends when she gets home. Her surprise doesn't last long, however, for she notices his tone is not one that any child should use when addressing their parent.

"I'll say two things right now; one I do not and will not ever answer to you. Secondly, if you want to talk to me then you'd better fix your tone," she says, placing her keys and bag on table foyer table.

Henry stands then, his body trembling with what she was sure was rage. He takes a step towards her before walking in the opposite direction towards the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" she asks, her hand on her hip. She doesn't want trouble, she really _really_ doesn't but there is no way she's going to let him get away with talking to her any kind of way he wants.

"Why do you always do this?" he questions, exasperated as he stops in his tracks. Regina cocks her head to side in confusion.

"I mean… every time I want to do something with my other mom you always say no. You always make it about you. It's not fair!" Henry yells as he turns on his heels to face her. Regina clenches her jaw and rolls her shoulders before shrugging and walking past him, headed to the very same kitchen where they had spent so many birthdays eating cookies and cakes until their bellies hurt. Where was that little boy?

"I'm not a baby anymore, mom," Henry grumbles softly as if hearing her thoughts. Regina nods her head and turns to look through the refrigerator. There'd be no pizza tonight.

"Mom says that in New York there's this writing academy that'd be great for me. And my dad… she said he wants to meet me too," Henry explains, his body slouching into itself. Regina sighs and looks at her son with regret, this is all her doing.

"I'm sorry, Henry. I-I'm just not ready for this. I don't think that this is the best time for you to be going to New York with Emma. Maybe next year," she concedes. Henry narrows his eyes and rolls his eyes as if he knew that'd be her answer.

"Of course you're not ready. It's always about you and what you want! It's never about what I want!" he shouts, shaking the glass panes covering the upper cabinet shelves.

"Excuse me? I work my ass off to get you the things you want and need!" Regina shouts back, her back tensing. She can feel a headache coming on.

"No you don't work for me. You don't do anything for me, it's always about you! Why did you even adopt me, huh? Because you were lonely? Well then you should have gotten a dog!" he yells, his voice cracking in pitch in that way that way it often does when he's upset.

"I'm your mother and you will not talk to me like that!" Regina screams, her headache now pounding right behind her eyes.

"You're not my mom!" Henry responds before gasping. Regina slumps back and shuts the refrigerator door with a bang before looking up at him, both of their faces marked with fresh tears. Henry makes to reach for her just as she slithers farther back towards the cabinets.

They stand like that for what seems like an eternity, only shuttering breaths filling the silent space. Regina wipes her face and nods her head once she had finally composed herself enough to speak, shoulders slumped in exhaustion. She's just so tired.

"You can leave with her tomorrow," she murmurs softly, afraid that if she speaks any louder she might just break.

"I didn't mean…," Henry starts before Regina raises her hand to stop him.

"I hope you enjoy yourself," Regina says sincerely, moving past him and towards her bedroom. Once inside she hears Emma come in through the front door and then the sound of it slamming closed not two minutes later.

* * *

><p><strong>An: Alright here it is, guys. I hope you enjoy and please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors you notice. I look through it when I finish writing but I may miss a few things. Anyway to more pressing matters...**

**I first want to let you all know that this will be a pretty short fic with and that the pace will be picking up.**

**Secondly I'd like to address a review that a Guest left because it rubbed me so wrong. I don't really write for others too much. I write what I feel and do it how I feel is right for me. If anyone disagrees with that then perhaps they should write something of their own. I things for my reader like trying to keep a set schedule for posts and answering any questions anyone may pose to me. But the initial idea, the process of writing and editing is done solely for myself.**

**And that's all I've got to say about that.**

**Expect another update next week Tuesday.**


	4. Chapter 4: Part I

The night of Henry's departure she'd packed up a few things and retreated from her home. At first it is because she wanted to avoid him should he come back to pack up his own stuff and skip off to New York with Emma, though a text Wednesday morning from said woman confirms that neither of them have skipped off anywhere. From then on she forces herself to systematically avoiding all phone calls from both parties, not because she doesn't want to hear from them, not because she doesn't want to talk things out, but because she is certain what will happen once she steps foot in their shared home.

Regina had never considered herself a coward, a runner for sure, but a never a coward. But she has always known when to get the hell out of dodge and to her this is one of those times.

Talking with Henry is unavoidable, she knows this, especially considering that Emma's vacation is almost up and she'll have to return to work before the next week is up. In theory the talk between the three of them should go just fine but she just isn't ready for it. Not when there are so many things said and unsaid that hang over their heads.

Questions she'll have to answer despite how hard she's worked to push them to the background of their lives.

Another reason, because there are plenty more, that she wishes to avoid the talk is because she knows her son. She'd raised him since he was a snot blowing baby and no matter how close he's gotten with Emma, she is the only person who really _knows_ him.

Henry is the type of person who sees the world in blacks and whites. There has never been room for greyscale in his mind, really. Something is either right or wrong and that's it.

She doesn't look forward to his look of disbelief when she answers whatever questions he's decided to come up with. She knows, despite wanting to keep him close to her, that she won't be telling him everything. There is just no way she'll be able to bring herself to tell him about the abuse she'd suffered at her mother's hand. Or about being stalked and threatened by Sidney. And with certainty she knows she'll never let him know about the little pills she takes that help keep her balanced and from succumbing to the ever present pull of her despair. How does one tell their child that they are broken beyond repair?

So instead she has spent every day since Wednesday with Robin and Roland. Spending time with them at lunch, at the park, or over at their house for dinner. It surprises her that she could have gotten _so_ close to the two of them in such a short time or that Robin would even allow such a thing. He strikes her as the type of man who wouldn't bring just any woman around his son so it makes her feel a special blend of joy and worry that he is so open with her.

"Regina, are you busy this Saturday? I've promised Roland a movie outing and I was wonder if you'd like to come with your boy, Henry?" Robin asked just as Regina rolled over on his bed. She'd slept there the night and now it's Friday and she has only group and grief counseling to look forward to. With a few pit stops at the shelters that house most of her charges.

She knows this is Robin's way of letting her know she's dodged her son and his mother long enough. She is thankful that he hadn't pushed her any time before but truly three days is two days too many and she knows this. They both do.

"I don't know if we'll be able to make it," she murmured softly before moving to pull her discarded undershirt on. Robin offers her a slightly grim nod before leaving the room to check on a still sleeping Roland. Regina takes a short moment to just bask in the warmth of Robin's condo. She likes everything about it; how spacious it is, the dark colors he uses to decorate it, the huge windows overlooking DC's small Chinatown, how freely he allows her to become a part of his space. She doesn't know how long things will continue this way but she hopes it does for a long time still.

She thinks, absently, about how odd it is that this is happening just at a time when her whole world seems ready to fall apart.

"Rey!" Roland screams as he runs into the room and into her arms. She smiles fondly down at the curly haired boy. The first time he'd called her Rey it had been Wednesday and she'd been immensely confused. But now she finds comfort in it.

* * *

><p><em>They'd been walking from the park back to her job after a lunch spent playing on the swings and hiding from Robin. She'd laughed harder than she remembered she could. Of course there was that guilt that festered deep in her that told her that it was wrong for her to be enjoying such activities with someone else's child when her relationship with her own was so strained.<em>

_"__Rey, can we get ice cream before you leave?" Roland had asked innocently, hoping from one piece of square sidewalk to the next. Regina had stopped in her tracks, confused by her new nickname. It was Robin who'd ended up asking about it._

_"__Rollie," he started with an amused look on his face," Why'd you call Regina 'Rey'?"_

_Roland stopped hoping and turned to both of them with a wide grin. "Cause she smiles like sunshine!" he'd shouted happily before skipping further ahead of them to the ice cream parlor. They'd both shared a smile and a few chuckles at his reasoning. It made Regina's heart swell with love for the boy she'd only just met days prior._

_"__Rey like sunshine, huh? Fitting," Robin had murmured close to her ear before kissing the shell of it and moving to chase after his son._

* * *

><p>Mary Margaret greets her with a troubled smile when she enters work. She'd spent most of her morning with Robin and Roland which had put her in quite the good mood but once she sits and talks with her right hand girl her mood instantly vanishes. One of her girls is missing and no one has any idea where she could have gone. Regina has a policy that makes group meetings mandatory at least as far as attendance goes and this same girl, Belle, has missed a few days already since she was first brought into the space.<p>

So she puts Mary Margaret in charge of group and postpones her grief counseling sessions for Saturday afternoon, which no one seems to mind, and sets off in search of Belle. The younger woman is still pretty new, having joined just a month before Ruby, so she doesn't know all of her usual stomping grounds but Regina has contacts all over the small metropolis and she's determined to find the other woman before she can slip into any old habits.

It happens more often then she'd like to admit. Girls, and her the few men who come in on Thursdays and Sundays for their own counseling, running off and back to the same things or people who'd they run from to begin with. For Belle it's an emotionally manipulative husband and complacent father. While the two women don't always see eye to eye, Belle tends to favor Mary Margaret like many of the girls do, but Regina feels a special sort of loyalty for the younger woman. She knows about complacent fathers and being emotionally manipulated by a loved one.

Mr. Gold, Belle's husband, is a seemingly mild mannered man who runs an antique store not too far from her home. She'd had her share of run ins with the soft spoken man and that's how she'd met Belle. They seemed, at face value, to have it all together. But Belle had confided in her how her husband would lock her away from outsiders and forbid her from going to any type of social gatherings. So she'd offered Belle to come with her and she'd been staying with Mary Margaret and her husband David since.

Of course, she knew like everyone else, that Belle didn't want to leave her husband. And Regina had enough sense to know that Mr. Gold truly did love Belle, she'd seen it in his eyes. But she also knew that love could turn sore and dark all too quickly.

When she finds Belle she's standing just out of her husband's shop, just staring into the window. Before she can approach said woman she sees her son and his mother walking in her direction. For a moment she contemplates just leaving but she is married to her duty and couldn't ever see herself running with her tail tucked between her legs when one of her charges needs her. So she steps forward from her car and into their line of vision. She thoroughly ignores Emma's call of her name and instead focuses her attention of the young brunette before her.

"What's wrong, Belle?" Regina asked just as her son and his mother walk up behind her.

"I just… I miss him, Regina. I miss him so much," Belle whispered, her lower lip trembling as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Belle, I know you do. I understand. I-I know what it means to love someone who isn't good for you," Regina admitted as she moves closer to the other woman. Belle nodded her head and bit her lip just as a tear slid down her cheek. Regina offered the other woman a watery smile.

"But I love him, Regina. I can make it work, can't I? If I try harder then I can fix us, right?" Belle questioned, turning to look Regina in the eye just as Mr. Gold opened the door to his shop. He carried a small trash bag in his hands, his face etched in shock as he looked over Belle and Regina in front of him.

"Love, I… are you coming home?" he asked softly.

"Sometimes we love people so much that we think we can change them just with the force of our love. But that isn't how life works, Belle. If someone doesn't want to change then they won't. If Mr. Gold wants to make your marriage work than it'll take both of you working together to make it happen. If it's only you working than it's going to fall apart and you'll fall apart with it," Regina said, cutting her eyes at the imp of a man. Something about him made her uncomfortable. He was much like Cora in that way, both of them seemed more like serpents than people.

"Belle, I'll… anything for you. Just come home," he pleaded. Henry and Emma stood back watching the whole exchange with rapt interest. Henry had never seen her at work, when he was younger she worked as a teacher so he spent a lot of time in daycare or with his grandfather.

It wasn't until they'd moved to DC when he was nine that she'd started her current work.

"Belle, I'm not going to tell you want to do. I'll support you no matter what but I urge you to take some time and really think this all through. I don't want you deciding anything and regretting it later," Regina impored. Belle looked between her husband and Regina before moving closer to her husband. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek and squeezed his hand once before moving back to Regina.

"Can you drive me back?" she asked softly, avoiding the heartbroken look her husband sported behind her. Regina nodded and unlocked her car so that Belle could slip into the passenger seat.

Regina looked back at Henry and Emma and offered them both a tense smile.

"I'll be home tonight and we can talk," she offered before turning and entering her car.

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like I wrote a whole bunch but I really didn't. There's a second part to this chapter that I think I'll add Friday instead of next week. I'm also going to try to put up some stuff from Robin's perspective on Friday as well about the time spent with Regina since the first day.<strong>

**So yeah, leave your thoughts and let me know who else you'd like to hear from.**

**In the official next chapter we'll be stepping into more drama and get the story really moving.**


	5. Chapter 4: Part II

It takes them no time at all to get back to the office, Belle is a blubbering mess by that time and she feels much the same on the inside. Part of her wishes that she'd been able to stay and finally talk things out with Henry but she knows where she is needed right now and it isn't with her son.

She helps Belle inside and calls an emergency meeting with Mary Margaret, Ariel, and Mulan to figure out how to go about helping Belle, who has fallen asleep in Regina's office. All the while the other girls busy themselves in the computer lap. Some looking for jobs and others are playing around, enjoying the break in schedule.

Ideas are thrown around and tossed out in the short span of an hour with no real progress made. It is Mulan who finally suggests couples therapy. Mary Margaret is, of course, against it, siting Mr. Gold's ability to lie with convincing ease. How would it be beneficial to Belle if they have no way of insuring the man's full cooperation? It takes a bit longer to figure a possible solution to that, afterwards.

Regina welcomes the task as it keeps her away from the blow up she's sure to face at home just that much longer, and also, she likes Belle and she wants more than ever to see the younger woman happy. She suspects that the way to really secure that is by securing her marriage.

When Belle finally awakens they sit her down and explain all the possible solutions they have come up with. Regina and Mary Margaret, the two closest to the woman, sit with her to fully explain things while Mulan and Ariel go back to working with the others. The crisis, for that's what it seems to have become, is over soon after and Belle concedes to continuing her stay with The Nolans.

When Regina finally has a chance to look at the clock it's just about five o'clock. She spends the remainder of her time sorting through emails from funders and returning a call from her father, who she has been subconsciously avoiding. The talk doesn't go exactly how their usual ones do.

* * *

><p><strong>"<strong>Hello, father. How are you? " she asks, sounding distant even to her own ears. She isn't as close to her father as she once was, distance and years of complacency in the face her very harsh abuse have cooled her love and desire to be the perfect daughter to him. She still loves him, make no mistake, and misses him dreadfully but his absence in her life is all too easy to get over and for that she is grateful. At one point in her life she'd loved him with all of herself and had been willing to face any punishment just for a small glimpse of his smile.

When she'd left with Henry, all those years ago, she'd promised him she'd keep in contact but as she became more secure in her career choice and her son became older, she'd realized how much she didn't want to talk to Henry Sr. She'd find any excuse to avoid calling and she limited their contact to fifteen minute segments every few months.

"Regina, love I... Your mother has cancer," he murmurs softly into her ear. It takes her a second to understand him and then a longer moment still to figure out why she should care. It's her _mother_, she tells herself, but the care that she suspects all children feel for their parents is noticeably missing. Perhaps it's the shock.

"I... What?" she questions, her face scrunched in a twisted sort of sneer.

"The doctors say she doesn't have a lot of time left. She wants to see you, darling. And Henry," he adds quickly. She can hear who she suspects is her mother in the background, coughing.

"No," she hears herself say, she doesn't know where the response comes from but knows she will stand by it. There is a quick scuffle and then her mother's voice is in her ear, sounding just as cruel and condescending as always. She can even picture the scowl the woman wears, eyes flashing with rage. The thought reminds her of how terrified she once was of her mother. How her love had been morphed into subservient fear.

"Regina, how dare you?" her mother hisses, sounding every bit the snake she really is. Absently, Regina thinks it may all a rouse, one of her mother's desperate attempts to have Regina back bending to her will, she wouldn't put it past Cora. And, she decides with a maddening sort if conviction, even if her mother is really sick she will not visit and will not tell Henry, regardless.

"No, how dare _you_? The last time I ever talked to you, you threw a vase at my face. Do you think, for a minute, I would ever in my life allow you back into my life, let alone my son's life?" Regina bites back, her face screwed in anger. She can feel the love/hatred mix she's always had for her mother bubbling and churning deep in her stomach. When she hears her mother's watery gasp of shock she deflates, slouching back in her office chair. Mary Margaret chooses that moment to peak her head in.

Regina gives her an inquisitive look as the younger woman gestures to the analog clock on the wall, it's seven and time to close up shop. She nods her head and waves the woman off with a slight smile. Mary Margaret has a concerned look on her face, having no doubt detected Regina's mood, when Mulan pulls her off with a friendly wave of goodbye for Regina. Regina appreciates it, she doesn't want to sit and discuss her problems with Mary Margaret. As close as they have become and as much as Regina appreciates the woman's glowing positivity in regards to work situations, she just doesn't want any of that optimism directed at her.

She had survived her mother's admittedly hostile womb to suffer; it was just her lot in life, one that she has come to accept and is determined to face alone.

"I wish you a speedy recovery or a painless death, whichever comes first," she sighs into the phone before hanging up. She hopes they never call again

* * *

><p>When she enters Henry and Emma are sitting at the kitchen table, a box of pepperoni pizza between them. She offers them both a reserved smile as she pulls off her pumps. Emma returns it while Henry just offers her a nod.<p>

She sits on the other side of the square table, across from Henry who hasn't yet looked her in the eyes.

"You didn't answer any of my calls," he starts. Regina nods her head and places her hands in her lap, feeling much like a child about to be reprimanded by their parent. But she is no child and doesn't have parents who can punish her anymore.

"I avoided them," she responds, grimacing at the flash of hurt that shows on his face.

"Why?" he asks with a frown.

"I was scared. I thought at first you were just calling to tell me how happy you were to be away from me. And then it was... Because I knew we'd have to talk about what was said. But I shouldn't have done that because I don't ever want to feel as if I'm not available to you. Because I love you," she states, leaving the rest of her sentence to die on the tip of her tongue.

_And I'm your mother_, she wants to add but thinks better of it. She doesn't really know what he thinks she is to him anymore.

"I'm sorry," he says suddenly, "I didn't mean what I said. I was just angry because I feel like... I just want you to be honest with me." Emma places a supportive hand on his shoulder and he turns to her with a blinding smile, filled with so much love and trust and admiration that Regina thinks she might just keel over then and there. It has been so long since he'd last looked at her like that. Years even.

She wishes, for a slither of a moment, that he'd look at her like Roland does. Like she is sunshine and ice cream and every one of his favorite snacks all rolled in one. She swallows the thought back and shoves it as far away from her mind as she can. Roland is not hers and he is probably better off for it.

"I have never lied to you," she says quickly, and it's true. She has always told Henry the truth, from the very start. She had, however, omitted things from their conversations plenty of times.

"I feel like you've been keeping things from me," he says, as if he can somehow hear her thoughts. He's being a lot of that lately, her intuitive boy.

"Only things you didn't need to know," she quickly defends herself.

Only the things that have caused her many a sleepless night and morning migraine. Things that taunt her darkest hour, singing haunted lullabies in her dreams. Ones that drive her half mad with grief and plead for her to step into oncoming traffic. Only the most _terrifying_ truths are kept from Henry. The ones that she is determined to suffer through alone.

She sees, from the corner of her, Emma opening and closing her mouth. Regina sends her a swift glare and hopes to the G-ds that the woman takes her hint. Her warning. This is a conversation between her son and her. There is no room for any interlopers, at least, not yet.

Emma, of course, doesn't heed her in the slightest. Regina thinks that months from now she may look back on this night and this conversation as the catalyst for her ruined relationship with her son. But, in reality, she knows the truth. Their relationship has been falling apart for far longer, starting on a cold Christmas Eve four years ago.

"How do you know that? Regina I mean… it's not really my place but I think that if you were a little more open with Henry then he could surprise you with his maturity," Emma says, Henry turns to her and looks at her as if she is the single good part in all his life. Regina grits her teeth and purses her lips.

"Yeah, I can be mature. Just give me a chance," he pleads then, his large eyes imploring her to open up to him. She refuses.

"And maybe… depending on how things go now you can let him have a bit more freedom. Freedom to come and stay with me, on weekends for short stints of time until you're comfortable with the idea of him staying longer," Emma suggests.

"And maybe even… allowing him to have a bit more of a relationship with his grandparents. Let him draw his own conclusions," she adds as an afterthought. Regina clenches her jaw and feels her nails biting into the flesh of her palms, hoping they will draw blood. She wants to be swept away in a sea of blood and away from this foolishness because that's all this is.

_Useless drivel._

"Yeah because mom doesn't know her parents but you do. I want to get to know them too," Henry says with a smile.

"There is no way in _hell_ I will allow that woman back into our lives," she hisses, her back arching like an angry cat. She is sure that she looks positively feral and that's how she feels.

Emma doesn't know much but the bits and pieces of her personal life that Regina has offered but that must have been enough. There is no way that she couldn't have put two and two together. She isn't a _fucking_ idiot, Regina thinks.

"Mom?!" Henry calls out to her, scooting back in his chair and pulling Emma back with him. They both look panicked and worried. As if she is the crazy one between them.

"I know you and her don't really get along but… she couldn't be that bad. She's your _mom_, Regina," Emma says, as if every mother is loving and kind. As if she knows what it is like to even have one. Her ignorance causes Regina to laugh, belly aching cackles of mirthless laughter fall from her lips for a good minute before she can compose herself enough to respond.

"You, _ha_, you know nothing of my mother. While you were fantasizing about the perfect family I was busy trying to push my rips back into place," she spits. Emma stands then, placing her hand against her swiftly beating heart. She looks like she's just been struck by a scalding hot skillet and Henry is much the same, but between the three of them only Regina knows how that feels.

"You're lying. You… I remember you used to spit and curse at grandma. There's no way…" Henry trails off, the room spinning around him. Regina sees his distress and reaches her hand out to him in worry, her anger leaving her just as quickly as it had come.

"Henry I've never lied to you, I wouldn't start now," she says, cursing herself. She should have had a better grip on herself. She should've kept her mouth closed.

"You… I… you're lying," he mutters to himself before leaving the room.

"I… I didn't know it was like that, I swear. He just, he told me he wanted to have a relationship with them," Emma starts. Regina holds up her hand and stops her, she doesn't want to hear anything the blond has to say.

"I'll get a notarized letter in the morning so that you can enroll him in school," Regina sighs with a nod. It seems they won't be seeing a movie with Robin and Roland after all.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so I know I said Friday but I didn't see myself finishing this part today and now that I have there seems like no good reason to not post it now. So here it is and I ask that you excuse any mistakes as far as grammar or spelling goes.<strong>

**Tell me what you think and good night.**


	6. Chapter 5

At first all she could do was cry. Gross, snotty wheezing sounds escaped her like steam pushed from the tight confides of a teakettle. She'd cried so hard and so much that she thought, in between the blinding tempest of emotions that sometimes raged fiercely and then ebbed away into false calm, that she might just dry up. Her skin would become brittle and paper thin as her bones hardened and hollowed.

For the first week she couldn't even get out of bed, which was completely unlike her. She always had to keep face; it was something she had learned from her mother back when she still thought the stars revolved around the vile woman. But now she really had no one to keep face for, now did she?

Mary Margaret called that Monday after her no show and she'd explained, with a strained voice, that she wouldn't be in for the rest of the week because she was 'under the weather'.

So it had been one whole week filled with tears and pain, missed calls and texts from both Robin and Emma. She ignored both. She didn't want to share this with anyone, least of all Robin. He'd comfort her, she knew but she didn't feel as if she deserved anything of the sort at the time. And as for Emma… well she'd have to talk to the blonde eventually but in the meantime she allowed herself to sink into her depression.

She hardly ate that week, which was to be expected. How could she eat when her own son thought she was some kind of monster?

So there was no food but she made sure to keep herself full of liquids. Monday she had drunk three cartons of orange juice by herself. Tuesday had been tea. And that's how she had begun to look at her days. She needed some sort of routine to distract herself.

She knew that if she could just make it to the next Monday she would be fine, she'd been abandoned before and she'd done the same thing. A week to wallow and she had to get back to life. And if she didn't make it the week… well then that was just her lot in life.

Wednesday was soda but because she didn't have much of it in her house she opted instead to make it the day for to drink all the left over packets of hot chocolate that Henry and Emma had neglected to drink the previous winter. She burned her tongue with everyone but she didn't mind. It was good to feel something that had nothing to do with her inner turmoil.

Thursday was for coffee. Black and hot with no sugar.

Friday she slept so she didn't end up drinking anything.

On Saturday she ate half a piece of bread and a few crackers while guzzling Henry's energy drinks. She didn't sleep much that night.

When Sunday finally rolled around she thought of making her drink of choice bleach but thought better of it. She had charges she had to live for, people who needed her. So she drank water to cleanse her system and ate samosas that she ordered from her favorite Indian place.

By Monday morning she was more than ready to push her grief out of her mind. Her plan was to work so hard that she'd sleep through the night and by doing so hopefully she wouldn't end up dreaming of the sweet boy she'd raised from a small babe into a smart though sometimes naive teen.

When she walked into the office Mary Margaret greeted her with a relieved smile and a tight hug. And if she let it linger a little longer than usual, who could blame her?

* * *

><p>Robin had stopped calling the following Monday. She was ashamed of the way she was treating him but in all honesty she just wasn't ready to talk to him. He still thought she was a good person and she was scared that the more time they spent together he'd figure out that that wasn't so.<p>

So when he stopped calling she felt somewhat relieved. And as for Roland… he was better off without her as an influence. All her life she'd been poison, something she had gotten from her mother, and she was sure that sooner or later she'd scar the child like she'd scarred Henry.

She didn't want the little boy to hate her. So it was better if he just forgot her.

If they both forgot about her.

So instead of calling him back and begging his forgiveness, she pushed her longing to the back of her mind along with her grief and couldn't help but feel proud of herself for coping as well as she was.

* * *

><p>That Tuesday she finally answered Emma's call. She had just gotten home from work when she noticed she had thirty one missed calls from the younger woman.<p>

The conversation went… better than a conversation between the two of them could have been expected to.

"Regina, listen I just wanted…," Emma started before Regina cut her off.

"I have no use of another apology from you. How's Henry doing?" Regina asked, her chest feeling just as tight as it had the last night she had physically seen son. Emma sent her pictures of the two of them all the time, seeing the sites of the big city. Henry looked happy and Regina was genuinely pleased. Even if she had to be completely miserable she didn't mind, he was all that mattered.

"He's… uh… he's doing okay, I suppose. He's been real quiet and a little withdrawn every now and then but overall he's been pretty good. School doesn't start here until September so mostly we've been going to all the touristy places and he loves Time Square. And he's met Neal, his father," Emma explained. Regina nodded her head as she listened attentively, trying to absorb every bit of information Emma shared with her.

She was glad Henry was enjoying himself so much. She had worried, in the few short minutes she allowed herself a night, if everything was okay with him. Sure she received the pictures Emma sent of the two of them in some of the more famous spots the city had to offer but that was different. Sometimes in those pictures Henry looked so lost and out of place that it made her heart ache but she figured that he needed time to sort through his feelings and she was more than willing to give it to him. If she was honest, she probably needed space herself.

Not to sort out her feelings or anything like that, she was almost an expert at concealing them and pushing them to the deepest trenches of her mind and that was more or less her problem. _Almost_ wasn't enough anymore. She needed to be stronger for Henry.

"Has he… has he said anything about me?" Regina asked as Emma's voice quieted.

"Uh… well not in so many words. But he, uh, has said that he misses… the house," Emma whispered. Regina sighed and shook her head to try to quell the wetness that stung her eyes.

"Ah, I see. Listen, Emma, I need to go. Mary Margaret invited me to dinner and I have to get ready soon," Regina said. It wasn't exactly a lie, she had been invited to dinner with Mary Margaret and her husband but she had declined, wanting to be by herself for the night.

"Alright Regina, I just… I know you don't want to hear this but I really am sorry. I can't help but feel that this is my entire fault. I was the one who even thought of the idea of him coming to the city with me and now I feel terrible," Emma admitted. Regina clenched her fist before allowing the anger bubbling inside her to ebb away.

"Emma… we both had something to do with this. And believe me, it's more my fault then you think. But… thank you for apologizing and, um, for the pictures. I really appreciate them. I'll talk to you later," Regina said quickly before hanging up the phone.

* * *

><p>Finally on Friday of the following week Mallory called and invited her out to dinner.<p>

The day had started like usual, Regina woke at the crack of dawn and spent the first hour running on the treadmill she'd had tucked away in storage for the longest time. She figured that running would help ware her out so she began running every morning, then a shower, and breakfast which consisted of a toasted 'everything' bagel with cream cheese and two slices of bacon.

Before she could even dress herself for another day of work Mallory's ringtone, the chorus from Autoclave's "I'll Take You Down" (a throwback to Mallory's near obsession with the Riot Grrl movement) , broke her out of her routine. She quickly answered though a little miffed that her routine was being thrown slightly off track. It was about the only thing keeping her from falling completely apart.

"Hello Mal, to what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked with as much snark as she could muster. She smiled despite herself at Mallory's answering chuckle. She loved hearing from her dearest and oldest friend. Mallory never failed to make her feel better, even back when it was her mother's beatings that she'd had to pick herself up from. They'd been thick as thieves for as long as Regina could remember and she was pleased that nothing, not even that time she'd literally asked Mallory to help her get away with murder, had come between them as the years passed.

"Oh you sound particularly happy this morning. Listen, I have a surprise for you and I want you to come with me for dinner so I can show it to you," Mallory urged, Regina scrunched up her face and thought it over. She had avoided doing much outside the confines of her house since Henry had left so she wasn't too sure she even wanted to. BUT she also knew Mallory wouldn't take 'no' for an answer so she slouched her shoulders and conceded without much of a fight.

"Sure. Where to?" she asked, looking at the clock to see just how late she'd be if she kept talking. Luckily for her she'd ended her run a little earlier than usual so if she ended the conversation in the next three minutes she'd be able to make it to work right on time to open up, it was her day.

"Meiwah's, is that alright?" Mallory questioned. The last time they'd been Henry had accompanied them.

"Sure thing. I've got to get ready for work though so…" Regina hinted, she needed to get going soon and she didn't want to explore where she was sure the conversation would go if she stayed on the line any longer.

"Yes, yes. Go on and get yourself all dolled up. I'll call you later so you know what time to meet me," Mallory rushed out in a huff before blowing her a kiss through the phone and hanging up. Regina smiled and turned back to her closet. Perhaps dinner wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

><p>Dinner was great. Almost a complete success, in fact.<p>

It turned out that her surprise was her old friend Winifred Bell or Tink (a name that carried a longer backstory than one would think) as she'd come to call her who had recently moved to the area, well she lived more in Maryland than in DC but it was all the same to Regina, regardless.

They'd been roommates throughout college and had kept in contact as much as possible over the years, despite the fact that Tink had relocated to Maine not too long after graduating. Regina hadn't heard much from the girl in the past few months which was to be expected, she'd stopped calling. But it made sense that somehow Mallory and Tink had reconnected. They'd gotten along great in the few outings Regina had orchestrated between the three of them during their time in school.

And that's how she'd found herself laughing, almost obnoxiously so, at another one of her friend's jokes. Mallory was telling them both about her previous beau and the antics they'd gotten into and Tink admitted to being engaged with Graham, a guy that Regina had dated briefly in college and had secretly thought was a bit too sensitive.

It was at a party Graham was throwing for charity that she'd met Daniel. They'd hit it off right from the start and she broke up with Graham the next day, just to avoid unnecessary conflict.

Tink had been outraged at the time, talking about how great of a guy Regina was letting go and now Regina knew it was because her friend had had a crush on him all the while. It was funny now, in retrospect, but Regina was sure she wouldn't have thought the same had Tink come out about her crush back then.

"So he's licking my toes, yeah and…," Mallory trailed off just as a loud squeal came from behind them. Regina turned slightly and went green at the sight of Roland running towards her. He leaped into her arms without caution and she felt herself let out a shaky gasp as his arms tightened around her neck. She held him carefully and tried not to look at the direction Roland had come from. Where he was…

"Regina," his deep voice called from behind her. She shivered and bit her lip nervously as she turned to him.

"Robin."

* * *

><p><strong>Seems our dear Regina is doing a lot to avoid both her feelings and Robin. I wonder how well that will work out for her in the long run... lol, just kidding. I already know.<strong>

**Anyway, this chapter was so difficult to write which is weird because I've already got the next one done and it just flowed out naturally. This one feels a bit forced, tbh. But it's here like I promised. I don't think I'll put anything up in the Companion piece this week unless specifically requested. For now I really want to focus more on Regina and what's going on with her. And, subsequently, what's going to be happening between her and Robin.**

**Also please excuse any errors you see, I may have let some slip by me and for that I'm sorry. Leave me a line to let me know what you think, though.**

**See you guys again Tuesday.**


	7. Chapter 6

"So are you going to introduce us or what?" Mallory asked after a silent moment. Tink just sat looking between her friend and the two males who flanked her on both sides. Roland snuggled deeper into her arms before peeking his head up and offering the other two women at the table a bright grin. Tink cooed over him and gave him a soft smile back while Mallory crunched her face up a bit trying to smile back. She settled for a smirk instead.

"I'm Roland! And that's my daddy!" he announced into the silence.

"Hello, Roland. I'm Winifred but you can call me Tink, everyone else does," Tink said before reaching her hand out for a handshake. Roland's eyes widened before he slipped off Regina's lap and reached across the table to grasp at Tink's offered hand.

"And this is Mallory," Tink continued, jerking her head in the direction of her other blond friend.

"Hi Lory!" Roland greeted before turning to face her. Said woman rolled her eyes at his cute little face and shook his hand as well.

"Yes well…" Mallory started before clearing her throat to catch the attention of Regina who sat staring up at the rather dashing man before them. He must have been the man her friend had told her about. Well good for her, she definitely could have done worse.

Regina blinked rapidly before turning to face her two friends.

"This is, um… Robin and Roland," she muttered.

Roland frowned and tsked at her in disapproval.

"Rey, I just said that!" he said, rolling his eyes at her. Regina chuckled at his display before pulling him back into her lap and pressing a quick kiss to his temple.

"Sorry, darling. I wasn't paying attention," she apologized, but to Roland's pleasure. He pressed himself closer to her with a playful smile.

"I forgive you this time but you gotta pay more 'ttention, Rey. Daddy always says I gotta be more… 'servent when I'm outside cause… cause… I don't remember why but Daddy's smart so we should listen to him," Roland explained. Regina smiled brightly and nodded her head in understanding.

Robin watched their exchange with wet eyes, "I'm sorry we interrupted your dinner. But we've missed you these past weeks, Regina," he said finally, feeling as if his heart was in his throat.

Regina nodded and looked down in shame as her friends looked between her and Robin, wondering about what the full story was between them. Mallory knew all too well Regina's penchant for stopping contact in stressful times but she also knew that whatever was between her best friend and Robin was a little too fresh for him to be so put out by her behavior. Maybe he was concerned about his pride?

"I…," Regina started just as Mallory spoke up, effectively cutting her sentence short. Regina narrowed her eyes at her friend's rudeness.

"Well that's all well and good but this is a _girls_ dinner," she hinted as she nudged Tink under the table.

"Oh yes. And I traveled quite a ways to get here too," Tink added as she rubbed her, no doubt bruised, shin under the table. She'd have to remember to let Mallory know just how sharp the tip of her shoe was.

"Ah, then I humbly apologize for interrupting you all. We'll just be off then," Robin murmured with a slight blush, reaching out his hand towards his son. Roland shook his head and threw his arms back around Regina's neck, hugging her tightly.

"I don't wanna leave Rey! What if I never see her again?" Roland cried out. Regina bit her bottom lip as she rocked the small child in her arms.

"Oh, Rollie. I'm so sorry, I hurt you didn't I?" she asked softly. He slowly nodded his head before looking up at her with a heart wrenching pout and tears trailing down his cheeks.

"I'm so so sorry, honey. Would you like if I came home with you?" she asked, her eyes shifting to look at Robin who nodded his consent silently.

"Really?" he asked in slight disbelief. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and gave him a lopsided smile.

"Of course. And in the morning I'll even make you French toast," she promised. He nodded vigorously before turning to look at his father with a toothy smile.

"Rey's coming home with us, Daddy!" he shouted happily. Tink and Mallory watched the exchange with amusement and barely concealed interest. It was so odd to see their friend snuggling with a son that wasn't her own.

"I heard. Come on, my boy. Let's go eat and we can meet Regina when she's done with her dinner," Robin suggested.

"But…" Roland began.

"No 'buts' now, Roland. Regina's out with her friends right now and we've got to give her some time alone with them. People don't like being crowded, they need space," Robin said as his son slipped off of Regina's lap and grapping his papa's hand with a slight frown.

"But Rey's been gone forever! She got enough space," he whined as they made their way to a table closer to the exit. Regina watched as a waitress came and took their order before turning back to her friends.

"Soooo… he's super cute and his son is adorable! Marry him," Tink gushed. Mallory chuckled and sipped her drink before looking up at Regina.

"I like him, "Mallory concluded after a second. "And from the looks of it, you're disappearing act has done nothing to deter him."

* * *

><p>The dinner had ended not too shortly afterwards. Mallory and Tink spent the time reprimanding her for her behavior, or lack thereof, concerning Robin and Roland. Regina, for her part, was truly ashamed of the way she'd made Roland feel. She didn't think he could have possibly gotten that attached. Actually she hadn't really been thinking of his feelings at all. Or Robin's for that matter. She was on a spiral down so it was hard for her to focus too much on anything other than her own aching heart.<p>

It sounded like an excuse but it was the truth. The only person who's feelings she had been focused on sparring had been Henry's and all he'd done was resent her for it.

"He's sleeping now," Robin murmured softly, stepping from the narrow hallway and into the spacious living room. As he moved to pour them both a drink Regina focused her attentions on taking in as much of her surroundings as she could. The last times she had been there, in his house, she hadn't actually spent any time in this specific room. Instead most of her time was spent in Robins room or in the kitchen, which she learned in her stay was mostly unused as Robin couldn't even boil water without fear of burning down the whole apartment. He'd told her that it was Little John who spent the most time in there.

She supposed one couldn't get to the size Little John was without knowing how to do at least the bare minimum in the kitchen.

The couch she sat on was a soft brown leather that matched almost perfectly with the chocolate laz-e boy on the other side of it. The odd piece out came in the form of Roland's bright orange beanbag to the right, at the moment it was pressed up against the glass coffee table which housed piles of old magazines and some of stray pieces of mail. The flat screen ahead of her was framed by various pictures of Robin, Roland, and their family and friends. The frames spread out as if they were butterfly wings, which was a cute touch that she doubted Robin had thought of himself.

Prehaps a lingering part of his wife. She hadn't asked much about the other woman and Robin hadn't told her much so she assumed she had passed on after Roland's birth which made Robin's sensitivity to what the other woman's vision for their home just all the more endearing.

She found herself wishing, not for the first time since meeting him, that she had met him at a better time in her life. Maybe she could have been his wife and helped him raise Roland while he inturn helped her raise Henry. Maybe they could have had a child together, even. A little boy with sandy brown curls and bright blue eyes like his father. Or a girl...

"Regina I just… I'm so confused," Robin murmured having finally made his way to her side. He pressed a glass of white wine into her hand as he gulped down his own drink. It was whiskey, by the smell of it.

Regina sat silently sipping her own drink as she waited for him to continue.

"I thought that we… maybe it was silly of me, but I thought we were doing good. I hoped that maybe you saw… I'm not sure how to say it without sounding like a fool," he muttered the last bit with a frown. Regina cooly placed her glass down and turned to fully face him before taking hold of his free hand.

"I'd never think you were a fool, Robin. And I'm sorry if I made you feel like one. I'm not in a good place right now. I've lost… my son who's been my whole world since the moment I held him in my arms. And maybe he'll come back to me but for now I feel lost without him. And you, G-d you're so amazing and I know I could see myself building something with you but I don't think this is the time for it. It just doesn't feel right to do that without my boy here," Regina explained, offering him a watery smile as he squeezed her hand.

"Regina, I understand that and I won't press you for any more than you are willing to give but I don't want a repeat of the last three weeks. If there's something bothering you I need you to open with me, okay?" Robin asked with hopeful eyes. Regina nodded slightly and offered him a comforting smile.

"Alright," she conceded.

"Good because I don't know if my boy or I could take another disapperance from you. We barely survived this one," Robin confessed before pressing a soft kiss to the hand she had placed on his. Regina felt herself shiver and blush at the contact. She hoped that she'd be able to keep to her side of the bargain.

She knew, without a doubt, that she wasn't anywhere near ready for a real relationship with him but seemed her heart wasn't so sure.

She wanted him something awful.

* * *

><p><strong>So I wanted to say that I'm sorry for not posting earlier like usual but everything I wrote for this chapter magically disappeared so I had to try to write something new on the fly. The product isn't exactly what I wanted but I'm happy with it.<strong>

**Also I'm planning on inserting a bit of sexiness next chapter so think of that as your consolation prize. Also I'm going to try to put of a companion piece from Emma's point of view again concerning the move and living with Henry. Expect some major surprises with that one.**

**Drop me a line and let me know what you think. Also I apologize now just incase I missed some mistakes. I think I may try to get a beta but I'm not too sure. I like to do things all on Tuesday so that I don't lose my muse.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Everything in** _italics_ **is set in the past.**

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Henry, listen to me, you have to wake up now," Regina whispered as she shook her nine year old son awake. Henry blinked slowly before taking in the panicked look on his mother's face. He shot up instantly, looking around his dark room for what could be causing her such distress._

_"__Mom?" he croaked out, his voice shattering the otherwise stillness surrounding them. Regina quickly shushed him with a deep frown._

_"__We have to be quiet, Henry," she murmured softly, her eyes shifting to look towards the window on the opposite wall from them. She pressed a pair of clothes into his hands and then stood to peek out said window. Henry watched her in confusion for a moment before she finally turned back to look at him._

_"__Hurry, honey. We have to leave," Regina said quickly, wringing her hands together nervously._

_Henry nodded stiffly before pulling off his pajama top. Regina offered him a soft, reassuring smile as she walked back to his side and pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of his head. She stood for a moment luxuriating in the feeling of his soft silky hair against her lipstick smeared lips._

_"__Mo…," Henry trailed off as she backed up._

_"__I'll be right back, okay? I have to get my purse from my room. Don't leave this room without me, Henry. Promise me that you'll wait for me," Regina pleaded as haunted look crept into her watery eyes. Henry nodded his head after a tense moment._

_"__Okay, mom. I promise," he said._

* * *

><p>"You don't have to be here with me, Regina," Tink said, though the elated look on her face was clearly at odds with her words. Regina rolled her eyes and continued to peruse the peach colored wedding dressed before them.<p>

"I still don't understand this thing with peach you have going on. If you wanted such an 'out there' wedding you should have just gone with a black dress," Regina muttered, pushing aside another hideous garb the attendant had picked out for them in her effort to 'help'. Regina could pick out better dresses with her damned eyes closed.

"I think peach is perfect for a wedding dress. I think it screams 'freshness' and when I think of weddings I think about how two people become one and enter into a new life together," Tink gushed, swaying back and forth with excitement. Regina rolled her eyes once more and turned her back to her friend, hoping to hide the small grin she was sporting. Tink's love of romantics was rubbing off on her, it seemed.

"If Mallory were here she'd probably throw up. I sure know I'm about to," Regina groaned, shoving her grin away.

"Oh please, you know you love being with me. You missed me, Reggie," Tink teased. Regina turned and offered her a fierce glare.

"I thought that we agreed to never call me that dreadful nickname years ago," Regina growled. Tink giggled and waved her off as she turned to look back at the selection of dresses before them. She picked up a pretty crinkle chiffon cocktail sort of gown with a pleated skirt. Regina frowned in distaste.

"That's despicable," she grunted. Tink laughed and put it back on the hook.

"Well at this rate I'll never find the right dress. How about we take a break and go get some lunch," Tink suggested. Regina shook her head and checked her watch with a frown. She only had an hour left to spare Tink and then she'd have to jump on the road back to DC from Silver Springs in order to make it to the meeting Mary Margaret had requested the day before. And then she had promised to have dinner with Robin and Roland.

"Can't, sorry. I have to get back to work soon," Regina stated before pulling a pastel pink gown from the rack. It had a beautifully bejeweled sweetheart top that flared into a ruffled skirt that would probably stop at about Tink's knees in the front and had a long train in the back. It wasn't Regina's style in the slightest but she remembered Tink having a thing for both ruffles and obnoxious beading during their college years.

Tink gasped and pulled it swiftly from Regina's hands with wide eyes. "I have to try this on!" she shouted before calling for the attendant for assistance. Regina chuckled and watched her friend twirl around with the dress pressed against her body.

She had missed Tink in their time apart. She didn't realize how much until this moment. Where Mallory was good for getting her out of a bind and probably understood Regina better than just about anyone else in the entire world, Tink was the friend she needed when she was feeling down and out. Despite how much she hated being pushed and pestered; she was smart enough to realize that sometimes she too needed motivation. Tink had always been that for her, on the days when she didn't feel like getting out of bed back in school it was Tink who pulled her out of her _funk_ time and time again. And if she had had her head anywhere but in her ass the past few years and consulted with Tink her relationship with Henry might not have taken such a hit.

"Tink," Regina called as her friend was just being pulled away by the attendant to the dressing rooms.

"Yes?" Tink asked, looking back at her with a slight smile.

"I missed you," Regina admitted. Tink's smile grew exponentially before she pulled away from the attendant and moved to pull her friend into a tight hug.

"I missed you too!" she gushed.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Henry?" Regina called into his room upon returning. She looked around the darkened space and, at his noticeable absence, began to tear his room apart. There was no way he would have left the room without her. He promised her!_

_"__Henry!" she cried out loudly, falling to the floor in a mass of sweat covered skin. Where could he have gone?_

_"__Oh lord, no," she whimpered before pushing herself up from the floor, hoping beyond hope that the same person she was trying to run from hadn't gotten to him first. She stood shakily on her feet before squaring her shoulders in determination. She was going to find her boy._

* * *

><p>Regina smiled at Ruby upon entering the room and then to Mary Margaret who looked like she was about to burst at the seams with excitement. Regina figured this had something to do with her news of having tracked down Ruby's estranged grandmother but with Mary Margaret she was never sure. She remembered how excited the younger woman had gotten when she had eaten a s'more for the first time.<p>

"So, what's the news?" Regina asked, getting straight to the point. Mary Margaret looked to Ruby first and nodded her head with a soft smile. It was Ruby who spoke first.

"I have a friend who wants to become a part of the program," she stated clearly.

"Well you should have brought her here with you today. Does she need some sort of transportation?" Regina asked, her head cocked to the side.

"Well she's actually… in jail right now. For drug possession. But they said if she agreed to go to rehab then the charges would be dropped," Ruby said quickly. Regina nodded her head and frowned slightly. It wasn't like they didn't take drug users in her program but most of them went to a separate rehab program on their off days.

"I'm not sure just coming here would help. I know other programs but we don't specialize in drug rehabilitation," Regina explained. Ruby nodded and looked nervously over to Mary Margaret who patted her hand supportively.

"Well I told her that but she was really insistent. She said that someone she knew came here before to run away from her… pimp. And that you guys helped hide her and get her support so she could start over. My friend was hoping that you guys could help her the same way," Ruby continued. Regina bit her lip and thought back to the number of women and men she had helped in similar situations. It wasn't too hard to do when one had contacts like hers.

"Alright then. Next time you talk to her give her my number. Tell her she can call me anytime and I'll help her as much as I possibly can," Regina agreed. Mary Margaret smiled brightly at that and was about to speak when Mulan knocked at the door. Regina looked back, perplexed before standing to see what the other woman wanted. Everyone knew not to interrupt one of her meetings unless it was an emergency.

"Sorry, Regina, but there's a red head outside waiting for you and she refuses to leave until she speaks with you. She said she traveled a long way to find you or something like that. I wanted to ask you what you wanted me to do. I could call the cops," Mulan explained quickly. Regina gritted her teeth and shook her head, already sure of just what red head would have traveled such a 'long way' to find her.

"Don't worry about it. Tell Mary Margaret to just continue on without me and that I'll be back in as soon as I can. You can go back to teaching your class now," Regina said with a tight look on her face. Mulan nodded and watched the other woman walk away, her heels clacking against the tiled floor with purpose.

Once outside Regina didn't have to look very far to spot the 'red head' in question. "Zelena," she hissed. Said woman turned to her with a wicked smile spread across her face, her blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Hello dear little sister. Longtime no see," Zelena grinned.

"What are you doing here?" Regina asked, her arms crossed in front of her, already ready for whatever taunts Zelena was bound to throw her way.

"Mother sends her regards. She asked me, pleaded even, for me to track down her troublesome little girl and bring her and her grandson back home. Though, it seems our dear Henry isn't living with you anymore, now is he?" Zelena taunted. Regina rolled her eyes at her sister's obvious tactics. The words still had a sting to them but she never took anything Zelena said seriously. Her sister liked to act tough and she was certainly ruthless but Regina remembered watching her sister crying over a broken nail back in their youth and any fear (or respect) she had had for her sister had quickly died.

"Yes, thank you for telling me something I already know. Is there anything else? How is Walsh?" Regina asked, feigning interest.

"He's great. We've just adopted out third child, from Cambodia this time," Zelena gloated.

"And where is this child?" Regina asked.

"With the nanny, of course," Zelena said, rolling her eyes as if that was obvious. Regina supposed it was with how 'hands off' of a mother she remembered Zelena to be with her other two children.

"And how does Glinda feel about that?" Regina questioned. Zelena narrowed her eyes and sneered in her direction, much to Regina's delight. Zelena's secret lover had always been a sore spot for the other woman.

"Enough about me, Regina. Mother wants you home," Zelena stated, stepping into Regina's personal space.

"I don't care what that woman wants. I'm not going back and neither is my son," Regina grunted.

"Oh Regina. You'll come if you want to avoid any details of your less than savory life to be leaked to all your co-workers and business partners. How would they take it? Learning that their dear Regina is a murderer," Zelena threatened. Regina raised a taunting brow and leaned closer to her sister, determination shining her dark eyes.

"Do it, I dare you. Just remember, 'Lennie', I have enough dirt on you to fill the whole of the Nile river. I know about how you've been funneling money from mother's accounts slowly for the past decade. I know about how your husband has a thing for gambling that same money away and how he loves sharing his disgustingly racist opinions on KKK forums, anonymously of course. I know about the child you gave up when you were sixteen. I know every single dirty thing about you. You think you could crush me?" Regina jeered, thanking her lucky stars that she'd had the sense to bargain for said information with Mr. Gold just after the call she'd gotten from her father. She knew her mother would send someone after her sooner or later and she had wanted to be prepared for whatever threats that her mother could possibly send her way.

The only one that held any weight was the incident four years prior.

"You bitch!" Zelena screeched, pedaling back as if struck.

"Tell mother, that I will never ever allow her to have control over me again," Regina grounded out, turning on her heels and walking back to her space.

"You lonely bitch! At least I'm not some tortured spinster, living out the rest of my days vicariously through others. If you'd had the same amount of guts back when we were children maybe mother wouldn't have been so disappointed in you. Perhaps she wouldn't have had to beat the worthlessness out of you. I bet your son wouldn't hate you as he does. And maybe your dear Daniel would still be alive," Zelena cursed her before rushing down the sidewalk. Regina teetered for a second before turning and fishing her car keys out of her jacket pocket.

* * *

><p><em>BANG! BANG! BANG!<em>

Robin rushed from his living room to answer the door. Regina stood, looking quite frazzled on the other side. He wiped his sweating palms on his jeans before gesturing for her to enter.

"Is everything okay, Regina?" he asked after a silent moment. Regina bit her bottom lip and shook her head with a sigh.

"What's the matter, lovely?" he questioned, taking her hand into his gently before pressing a kiss against the back of her hand.

Regina turned to him and pulled her hand out of his grasp. Robin frowned at the look on her face before gasping out as she pressed a demanding kiss against his lips. He groaned and kissed her back with equal passion before remembering himself and working up the sense to push her back.

"Regina, what's gotten into you? Just the other day you wanted to take things slow and stay friends," he murmured, confused.

"I want you, Robin. And I know I shouldn't. And that I'm probably not even good enough for a man like you but I want you and I don't care," Regina admitted, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

"Regina, I want you too. I really do but I… I don't just want some of you. I want it all and I don't want to let this go any further unless you're sure you can give me that," Robin stated clearly, a pained look on his face. Regina nodded her head and moved closer to him to press a soft kiss along his throat.

"I'm so sure," she whispered," I want to give you everything."

Robin pulled back and held her at arm's length to get a clear view of her. He searched her eyes for any uncertainty and before pulling her in for another bruising kiss when he found none. Regina responded by throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him as close as he could possibly be to her soft body. He placed his hands on her hips and growled when she grinding slowly into him.

Her moved his hands down and squeezed on her generous ass, grinning into their kiss when she squealed.

"I'm going to make love to you," he murmured against her lips. Regina nodded her head mutely before kissing him once again.

Robin pressed against her, his hardening member grinding against her covered thighs. Regina whimpered and broke their kiss with a breathy moan. They stood, breathing each other in, for a long moment before Robin moved to distance himself from her.

If they kept going he was going to want something he was sure she wasn't actually ready for.

Regina placed her hand on the collar of his shirt to halt his movements. He watched her tensely for a moment, waiting with baited breath for her to make some kind of move. And despite his desire and her words (and her damned beautiful eyes) he still was weary to continue with her He was an all or nothing type of guy and he wanted her to be without a doubt as to where they stood.

Regina stood still, debating with herself whether this was wise. She wasn't a fool, she knew she had tons of things she needed to work on before she even tried being in the type of relationship she knew Robin wanted from her. He'd made it clear that he wanted to build a life with her. Worst of all, of course, was that she could see it happening.

Could see herself being happy with him and Roland but that was wrong because no matter how hard she tried, she never saw Henry in any of those fantasies.

"Regina…" he began just as she pulled him in for a searing kiss. Henry wasn't with her now but on the chance that he did return to her one day she wanted to have a family, a real family, for him to come back to.

Robin quickly slid his hands down to her outer thighs, caressing his way under her pencil skirt and to the band of her panties. Regina grinned against his lips before stepping back and jerking her head in the direction of his bed. He nodded quickly before taking her hand in his and pulling her along behind him. By the time they reached his brightly lit room she had already unbuttoned her top, leaving her lace covered breasts exposed. Robin gritted his teeth together before giving her another kiss.

He allowed his hands to explore her creamy upper body, quickly discarding her bra and shirt onto the floor. All the while Regina worked her soft hands under his shirt, running her hands along the hard planes of his abdomen. He trailed kisses from her neck to her collar bone and then to the valley between her milky breasts. She hissed in pleasure as he continued to undress her while pressing tender kisses along her breasts.

"Robin," she moaned, breathlessly. He smiled and took one of her hard buds between his lips, enjoying her cry of pleasure. He thanked his lucky stars that Little John had agreed to watch Roland for the day or else he would have never had the freedom to do any of this.

Not to be outdone, Regina moved her trembling hands to his pants. She worked for what seemed like hours to undo the button and push them from his hips. She licked her lips when she felt the smoothness of his boxers under her hand. She brushed her fingers through the front slit and moaned when she came in contact with his thick length. Robin hissed and jerked away from her before ripping the rest of her clothing off along with his own.

He pushed her onto the bed and laughed when she flopped and floundered for a moment before he sunk to the floor, pulling her by her legs to the edge of the bed.

"Robin?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"I'm going to make you cum now, love," he whispered before placing a kiss on both of her thighs. She watched him through heavily lidded eyes as he moved closer to her moist treasure box. He grinned up at her before pressing his tongue to her already engorged clit. She whimpered and shifted, trying her best to keep on watching him as he continued to slowly roll his tongue around her love button.

He swept his tongue from her clit down to her weeping opening before slowly sliding his tongue home, lapping like a man starved at her sweet heady juices. Her musky smell drove him wild and he wanted nothing more than to hear _and _feel her come undone for him. He pulled her legs onto his shoulders and continued to feast on her delicious snatch.

Regina bucked and withered under him, one of her hands holding him in place as the other one held fast onto her right breast, kneading and tweaking her hard nipple.

"Oh Go- oh, Go- Robin!" she cried as he sucked on her clit. She fell back on the bed as he continued working on her, every so often pulling back to rub the scruff of his beard against her sensitive button.

He licked two fingers before dipping them slowly into her quivering cleft. Regina cried out as he slowly worked them in and out of her, curling them right past her entrance and then jerking them swiftly over that sensitive bundle of nerves inside her. She gasped and cried, lifting her hips off of the bed as she tried to free herself from his ministrations. It was all too much, too good. Too right.

Robin pressed his free hand on her lower stomach, effectively keeping her in place as he worked his fingers faster and increased his suction on her clit. Regina screamed out as stars burst behind her eyelids, her orgasm ripping through her like a tidal wave.

Robin continued to piston his fingers inside her, pushing her orgasm on and her along with it.

"Robin, no! No… oh it's! Too much!" she sobbed after a long moment. Robin slowly slipped his fingers out of her before standing to look over her flushed and sweaty body. She was breathing hard, as if she'd just climbed up a mountain and back. He grinned as he caught her eyes and licked her juices from his fingers. She chuckled at his display before motioning for him to join her. He quickly scooted to her side and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"How was it?" he asked, his smile wide.

"I'd give it an eight out of ten," she whispered hoarsely. He frowned.

"Only eight?" he asked.

"I'm afraid so, though if I can be persuaded to give you a higher score," she murmured. Robin laughed and placed a kiss along her brow.

"How about in a moment, love? I think a little reprieve would do you some good," Robin said. Regina nodded her head and placed a soft kiss on the shoulder facing her.

Zelena was wrong, she decided. She had Robin and Roland and soon enough she'd have Henry back. And when she did, when he finally returned, she'd be a better woman and a better mother. She owed him that much. She owed it too herself too.

* * *

><p><em>Regina rushed down the stairs, two at a time, to continue her frantic search for her son. She had looked all over the upstairs for him and she was reaching her wits end. They needed to leave as soon as possible. She stumbled into the den and cried out in a mix of fear and relief as she saw him sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. The lights of their large Christmas tree shined down on him, painting his pale skin in blues, reds, and greens. She moved quickly towards him before stopping in her tracks when she noticed just who was sitting before him, pointing out pictures in the book and explaining their meanings. He was the first to notice her entrance.<em>

_"__Hello, my love. I see you're all dressed up, already. And packed too," he murmured, his head jerking in the direction of the backdoor where she had placed her (and Henry's) luggage. _

_Henry smiled over at her and waved her over. "Isn't this cool, mom? Sidney said he's going to take us on a trip," Henry said with a wide grin._

_"__Henry, you promised to stay in the room and wait for me," she murmured absently, eyeing the piece of black metal Sidney had laying behind his back._

_"__I know, sorry mom. But Sidney said you wanted me down stairs for the surprise. This is awesome," the boy gushed. Regina nodded her head before stepping closer to the two. She watched as Sidney threw his hand behind his back and flexed his tanned fingers around the handle of the gun in warning._

_"__Henry, I wished you had listened to me," Regina said simply, holding her hands behind her back._

_"__Mom?" he questioned, clearly confused._

_"__Regina, now think about what you're about to do. I wouldn't want to have to hurt our dear son," Sidney said, finally pulling the gun from behind his back and pressing the end of it against Henry's forehead. Henry cried out in shocked fear before looking quickly at his mother. Regina growled and flexed her fingers, more than ready for a fight to save her son's life._

_"__He's _my _son, Sidney. We don't belong to you," Regina said clearly, offering Henry a reassuring smile. Henry trembled in place as he watched her._

_"__We could have been so good together, Regina. Henry loves me; I love you… why couldn't you love me too?" Sidney asked, tears springing to his deranged eyes._

_"__Sidney, please… is that what you want? I'll love you, I'll do whatever you want; just let Henry go," she begged._

_Sidney looked at her for a moment, hope shining in his eyes. "Really, Regina? You aren't just saying that are you? Because I'll kill him, darling. I'll kill him if you lie to me," Sidney said, standing to his full height now, the gun still pressed against Henry's head. Regina nodded shakily, tears trailing down her flushed cheeks._

_"__Anything, Sidney… my love. Please just come to me," Regina begged. Sidney smiled at her before stepping towards her. He paused and turned, hitting Henry with the butt of the gun before turning and making his way to her. Regina cried out as her son crumbled to the floor in sobs._

_"__I didn't want to hurt him, Regina. I didn't, really. But I need you to understand. I'll kill him," Sidney said, pulling her into a tight hug, his arms slipping under hers. Regina fumbled for a moment before bringing her hands around his shoulders. Henry watched in fear as his mother brought a small knife up and slammed it home into the side of Sidney's throat._

_He blinked, his vision blurring for a moment before he felt something cold slid across the floor and hit him in the face. He pushed himself up on shaking arms, reaching blindly for that cold piece of black metal. With trembling hands he brought it up before him, trying to aim for Sidney who had his mother in a choke hold._

_"Henry! No!" Regina screamed as Sidney threw her into the Christmas tree. Her vision swam as she tried to move, feeling glass from the broken bulbs pressing agonizingly into her skin. Sidney stalked over to her, a hand pressed against his gushing wound as his eyes shifted over her wildly._

_"I could have loved you!" he screamed, stepping over her. She lifted her head and watched as Henry stood, the gun still clutched tightly in his hands._

_"Run, Henry," she whimpered just as Sidney's foot slammed into the side of her head. She wheezed brokenly, black dots dancing before her eyes as her consciousness faded away._

_BANG!_

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><p><strong>Woah, a lot of stuff happened in this chapter, I think. It's like the longest one I've written to date and as promised there's your sexy stuff. There's more coming next chapter, probably. I'll be posting Emma's installment in this week's Companion Piece later today too, instead of on Friday because my mother's coming to town for the coming 'holiday' and I'll probably be more focused on her than on writing.<strong>

**Also I wanted to add how sad I was that no one ever commented on that little line I wrote in last chapter about Regina literally asking Mallory to help her get away with murder. I thought it was a great teaser but apparently not. Well now, to you guys who did notice it, here's your explanation as to why it was there to begin with.**

**Lots of dark things in Regina's past, it seems. ****And Zelena, amiright?! What a canker sore! I really liked giving Regina the upper hand here because she never really had that in the show when going against her sister.**

**And, And! Did anyone notice that I made Robin's parents from the birthplace of Lord Voldybutt? Or that the town they settled down in was where young Harry lived with his bogus Aunt, Uncle, and cousin? No one?!**

**Well anyway this has been a really long end note so I'm off to keep writing.**

**Fairy Blood may be coming out today too so check that out please. And until next time, please do drop me a line letting me know what you think of this chapter.**

**The mistakes are my own and I apologize!**


	9. Chapter 8

**First I want to say that this will be a short chapter, shorter than most of my other ones probably. I wasn't even sure when I woke up that I'd be able to write anything today. It's an emotional day for me and I'm still reeling from last night's shit show so please bear with me for now.**

**I had so many plans for this chapter which got thrown out so it probably won't be the most impressive in any kind of way but all the same I hope you can find some type of enjoyment.**

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><p>She likes Ruby's friend; in the same way Snow likes Ruby, that Mulan likes Aurora, that Ariel likes Sebastian (one of their past charges who returns as often as his job allows). She likes her enough to visit her in jail before she's released into the custody of Leroy, the director of a Rehab she works closely with. And, despite their past 'misunderstandings' (in which she accused him of being a lush and he accused her of being a demon from the deepest pits of hell) they have come to a turbulent sort of understanding and often work closely together for the sake of her charges. It also helps that his wife is one of Mary Margaret's dearest friends, so she honestly couldn't set him on fire even if she wanted to.<p>

Christina is what she calls herself, despite the fact that Regina knows full well that isn't her actual name. She doesn't ever correct the girl, she wants her to be comfortable so she always respects her boundaries. They sit for only a bit over an hour talking about anything and everything, Regina avoids asking about anything that could be traumatic but learns more than she thought she would in their first meeting.

Christina has a child, one she hasn't seen in years and she wants nothing more than to find said child. She never mentions whether she has a son or daughter so Regina doesn't ask. Christina also has forty seven tattoos, none of them visible in her grey jumper except for the small sun that sits on the inside of her wrist. She tells Regina she took to getting a new tattoo every time she got a new scar.

Their conversation is mostly light but she finds that perhaps out of all the new attendants she may like Christina, with her large doe eyes and tangled mass of brown curls, the best. Something endears the other woman to her and she thinks, maybe, that given some real time Christina may feel the same way.

* * *

><p>They have been dating for just under three months. Roland seems to love her and she feels much the same. Robin is… just wonderful. He makes her happy, they both do. She tells him late one night, after waking with tears in her eyes and sobs hanging from her lips, of Daniel.<p>

Of how she'd run away with him the day after graduating. They'd gone to Vegas with Mallory, Tink, and Jefferson (And old friend of hers) following close behind. Had said their vows with vision half blurred with tears and then hopped on the very next flight to Maine while her friends stayed back and enjoyed themselves.

She remembers the taste of the air that night outside her mother's house, she tells him, because it was always so musty and full. Like full bodied wine, Daniel had commented.

She tells him that she loved Daniel with every single bit of herself and was willing to give up everything for him; that Daniel had dropped out of school and gathered all his money to open a small homeless shelter in Boston and he wanted her there with him. They'd already moved all her stuff into his house, "Our house," he'd corrected her.

And she loved him, she cries into Robin's shoulder. Loved him enough to break her mother's heart and run off with someone she knew Cora Mills would never approve of. They'd walked up the back porch just to tell her parents about their plans and so that she could get a few things of hers before leaving them both forever, because she had no doubt that her mother would disown her the moment she found out.

The gunshot blast had shocked her almost out of her shoes. One moment Daniel was standing next to her, laughing at some quip of hers and the next he was sprawled half on the steps and half on the porch. Her mother stood with burning eyes and shotgun in hand.

She hadn't even been able to scream, just stood there like a statue as her mother concocted some story about how she thought he was assaulting her. That she'd rushed downstairs after hearing his booming voice.

All he'd done was laughed. She repeated it over and over in her head for days. Repeated it as she watched them put his body on the gurney, repeated it as she watched her mother go to trail and be found not guilty of murder in the first degree, repeated it as they moved her like a puppet back into the house (into her old room that overlooked the porch that played host to all her nightmares). Repeated it until it lost its meaning. Until her mind began to turn to mush.

It's only Mallory who brings her back from that dark place she casts herself into. Mallory who visits her every day, who moves back into town despite how much she's always hated 'that old hick town' as she'd often called it. Mallory who suggests she go get a puppy or something to help her with her grief. Mallory who drives her to Augusta to do just that. Mallory who doesn't bat an eyelash when she comes back to pick her up after two days with a baby in her arms. Mallory who drives her back to Storybrook and lets her move in.

She cries and tells Robin about everything leading to her drastic move, how her mother threatened to take her son from her when she'd refused to marry the Leo, the new mayor who'd had his eye on her since she was thirteen and he was just the middle school principal.

Robin listens with rapt attention, never interrupting and holding her as she spills her guts to him. She stops when she gets to talking about Boston, shivering something like a leaf in the breeze and welcoming him as he places soft touches along her pale skin. Begs for him when he ventures further south. Pleads with him when he finally enters her and takes her slow and steady, prays absently that her cries don't wake Roland who is down the hall sleeping in the guest room across from Henry's room.

They make love that night and she falls asleep in his arms afterwards, or pretends to, but when his breath evens she stares blankly into the darkness wishing that her baby was with her. Needing to just hold him once or see his smile.

* * *

><p>She has a new group at work and they all remind her of mismatched puzzle pieces. Disorganized and utterly chaotic but she knows that with some hard work and care she can show them how well they actually do fit together. And the beautiful picture they can make together.<p>

"Now now, settle down," Mary Margaret calls from her place in the circle, sitting across from Regina and looking ready to burst.

"Now, who amongst you wants to start?" Ariel asks, looking around the room. Regina sits back and watches from the other side of the circle. This is Ariel's first time leading group, usually she deals with one on ones or housing issues, but she's trying to expand her skill set. Regina is pleased regardless, she'd like to focus more on one on ones for a while and if all goes well she'll allow Ariel and Mary Margaret to pick up the rest of the group meetings. Except for the men's, which is Mulan's specialty.

"I'll go," Christina says after a silent moment. Regina smiles at this, she'd asked Christie (As she'd begun to call her) to try and be a bit more open at her first group meeting. Assured her that no words spoken in group would leave group and she was glad to see the younger woman taking heed of her words.

"Alright, then. Start when you're ready," Ariel says, checking with Mary Margaret next to her if she's done the right thing. The other woman nods and smiles softly in a silent response.

"This is my first time in group here, my name is Christina. I came because it was either rehab or jail and I've been to enough rehabs to know they're pretty much the same thing. I wanted actual help so I called a friend of mine up, after hearing she'd begun to get clean, and asked her if she thought this place could help me. And here I am," Christie says as she fidgets in her seat. Regina watches her wipe her sweaty hands on her sweatshirt and frowns.

She knows that just a week or so before the other woman had had a slip up when another rehab inhabitant had sneaked more oxy than should be possible. She remembers Leroy raging and locking down the whole building to clean up. She can see that Christie is more than likely in agony, her last high having long worn off and withdrawal hitting her like a freight train. But she is here all the same, fighting to keep herself in check. It impresses her and she knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that this woman across from her is destined for success.

"Nice meeting you, Christina," the chorus sounds.

Christina shifts once more in her seat and grunts in discomfort. Everyone holds their breath, most knowing the signs of withdrawal all too well. They have seen more than one woman collapse under the stress of it, some of them are those same women.

"I um… I was raped years ago and I got pregnant. I was married at the time too and I didn't tell him because I was so ashamed of myself. So I tried pretending like everything was fine but it killed me because he was so- he was so excited and happy and I didn't even know if the baby was his.

"I tried killing myself when I was five months pregnant. He was so worried about me and he helped me recover, physically. But I couldn't look at him anymore after that," Christie paused and wiped a few tears away," I loved him so much and he was so good to me and I-I was just some slut who didn't even know if the child I was carrying was his or not. I stayed with him until I gave birth, signed away my rights, and left. I've been running ever since but I'm done running. I want to see my baby. And I want to apologize."


	10. Chapter 9

**Okay I have a short(ish) note so bear with me. First I want to apologize about last week's chapter. I still haven't gotten around to editing it and in all honesty I probably should have skipped writing last week because I was so emotional (Holidays tend to do that to me, plus other things happened as well). From here one I promise that I will refrain from writing if I feel overtaxed so if you guys go a week without an update please be understanding.**

**This week I've got this chapter and a 'Companion Piece' chapter to post. I'm going to try and be better about how they read this week but all mistakes are my own as I am unbeta'd.**

**Anyway, that's it. Happy Tuesday!**

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><p>Two weeks.<p>

Fourteen Days.

Three hundred thirty-six hours.

Twenty-thousand one hundred-sixty minutes.

And not a single phone call. Not even a text.

It had been two weeks since Emma had made any type of contact with her and Regina was starting to worry. They hadn't set up a specific schedule as to when they'd call or anything like that but two weeks seemed more than a bit _excessive_. Especially when Emma knew just how high strung Regina could be.

Sure she had Robin and Roland to worry about now (seeing as she they had unofficially moved in) and even Christina (who she had been spending more and more time with as the November turned to December). But try as she might she couldn't pretend that her son didn't exist. She missed him dreadfully, especially when Roland smiled at her or hugged her. She loved the boy (she knew that for a fact) but it wasn't like holding Henry.

Henry who's arms wrapped completely around her. Henry who would laugh and roll his eyes whenever she tried to tickle his spine. _"__I'm too old to be ticklish,"_ he'd groan despite the chuckle or two he let out.

She missed her boy.

And Emma was pissing her off.

"Love?" Robin asked, coming from out the bathroom attached to her master bedroom. Regina smiled and set her phone on the mahogany night stand to her right, before addressing him.

"Hmm?" she hummed, smiling softly up at him as he made his way to stand over her. He laid a gentle kiss on her lips before smiling back at her.

"You looked upset. Anything I can help with?" he questioned, sitting beside her stretched out legs and running his hands up from her toes to her thighs soothingly.

"I was just checking to see if Emma had called me," she answered honestly. There was no use in lying anyway, Robin already knew all about the more recent developments between her son and his birth mother. Robin frowned and sucked his teeth hotly. Regina rolled her eyes and grinned at his display. He hadn't met the blond yet but he had already made up his mind that he disliked her a great deal.

"Trouble in paradise, I bet," he murmured just as Roland bounced into the room, two stuffed animals clenched close in his little hands.

"Will you read us a story, Rey?" he questioned, his big brown eyes shining up at her expectantly. Regina nodded and scooted past Robin towards the bouncing boy standing in the center of her bedroom. She took his hand and lifted him up into her arms before turning to Robin.

"We'll continue later, right?" Robin nodded and waved her off. She turned and left the room, Roland talking animatedly as they traveled to what had become his bedroom, the guest room across from Henry's.

Robin sat watching the door way, thinking hard about what he could do to improve Regina's peculiar situation when her phone rang. He fumbled to grasp it for a second before looking to the screen.

_Ms. Swan_

A moment later he found himself looking down at Regina's cleared call history.

* * *

><p>Monday morning found Regina eating lunch with a very upset Mallory and a very worried Tink.<p>

"He won't let me see her, Regina. I could rip him to pieces, I'm so mad! I want to set his ass on fire," the blond sneered, thinking to her ex-lover and father of her child.

"To be far, you haven't been visiting her very often this past year. Maybe she's the one asking to keep you away. Children can be like that," Regina explained softly, as Tink tried her best to calm their friend. Mallory glared down at her salad before throwing the bowl to the ground with shaking hands.

"I could rip his throat out, Regina. You know I could," she growled as a pair of waiters rushed to their side to clean up the mess. Thankfully they were in a more secluded part of the restaurant so no one had actually seen Mallory's fit of rage outside of the three of them and the two waiters by the kitchen doors.

"Oh, Lory, you have to calm down. And don't say such things, especially when you don't mean them," Tink advised, rubbing Mallory's back in what she hoped was soothing circles.

"I do mean it. I miss her," Mallory whispered, her anger leaving her in one fell swoop. Her bright eyes dulled rapidly as she bit her bottom lip to keep herself from crying. Regina had only seen her friend cry three times before in the entirety of their friendship and she had sworn the last time (being that it was mostly her fault) that she would never let her friend cry again.

"Listen, I'll see what I can do. I still have his number and we're on better terms now than ever before. I'll talk to him and see what's going on," Regina promised, gripping her friend's hand from across the table.

"I swear."

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_I swear, Mallory. I had no choice," Regina cried softly, her arms wrapped around her shaking son. Henry swayed slightly on his feet and Regina pulled him tighter to her side as she stared down her very best friend. Mallory looked at the fallen Christmas tree and the body lying not too far from it, blood pooling like a small ocean underneath him._

_"__I can't help you, Regina. I can't!" Mallory hissed, her heels clacking across the hardwood floor as she paced. Her wild hair was done up in a neat bun and she was dressed fabulously in a navy blue backless tube dress that stopped halfway down her toned thighs. All in all she looked like she was ready for a night on the town, and she probably would be if Regina hadn't called her twenty minutes before half sobbing about needing urgent help._

_"__This isn't your first time with something like this, Mal. I didn't know what to do and I figured you could help me," Regina whispered hotly, her eyes shifting wildly around the room._

_"__Don't you even dare bring up _that_. I had no choice back then but to kill him. I cannot keep helping you fix your damn messes," Mallory growled, stopping right in front of Regina and then looking down to her g-dson._

_"__I knew this would end badly. I knew it! I told you to get a damn puppy and you came back with a child!" Mallory grunted harshly. Regina narrowed her eyes at this and placed a soft kiss on Henry's head before turning to address her best friend._

_"__This is not his fault, you know that. He was scared. And I told you back then why I got him. When I held him in my arms I knew right then he needed me," Regina explained, her eyes hardening as Mallory rolled her own and threw her hands up in the air in exasperation._

_"__Do you think, if not for him, you would be in this situation? I know you, Regina. You would have left the moment Sidney looked at you wrong. You've got damned six sense about things like this, Regina! Or you did, before Daniel and _him_," Mallory scoffed, her face turning red with each word, gesturing to the body lying not too far from them._

_"__You didn't want to uproot him again and now look, you've got a fucking dead man lying in your living room!"_

_"__Need I remind you that I've always had your back? When your mother was busy getting drunk off her ass and spending every dime on booze I fed you. I took beatings just to sneak you food from my house. I broke Jefferson's nose for you. I took a literal bullet for you, you ungrateful swine. I will never ever be able to carry a child because of you! And you squander what I wanted so bad, instead of spending time with your daughter you whore yourself out to make partner at a half-assed law firm!" Regina jeered. Mallory stepped back and pressed her right hand against her chest as tears gathered in her eyes._

_"__I bet your purse is filled with an assortment of flavored condoms. And I could destroy you with the things I know about you, so are you going to help me get rid of this trash or not?" Regina asked, her brown eyes snapping with rage._

_Mallory took a moment before nodding, her jaw clenching as tears slipped silently down her face._

_"__We need plastic bags," she muttered softly. Regina nodded and turned to Henry who looked blankly to the wall in front of them._

_"__Henry, can you hear me?" she asked in a whisper. His eyes shifted to look up at her, still as dazed looking as before._

_"__I need you to go sit in Aunty Mallory's car, okay? Can you do that for me?" Regina asked in the sweetest voice she could muster. After a minute he nodded and walked stiffly from the room. Once he was gone Regina turned back to look at her shaking friend._

_"__Mallory… I'm… I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said those things...," she trailed off as Mallory stopped shaking and nodded her head slightly._

_"__Everyone's always sorry," the slightly older woman grumbled," I'm sick of 'sorrys'."_

* * *

><p>"Can you answer the door?" Regina asked, as Emma's name flashed on her phone screen. She had been so busy in the past three days that she hadn't even thought to call the woman as she had intended. With Mallory's drama with her daughter and helping Christina trace down her family (with the help of a very fishy Mr. Gold), she had had enough on her plate.<p>

Plus there was Mary Margaret and her accident at work that had forced her to take her maternity leave earlier then they had planned. Regina was putting in more hours than she had since opening the space years before. She hadn't known how much responsibility she had had Mary Margaret shouldering until recently and she swore to herself that she would distribute their combined work load more evenly once Mary Margaret was back into the office.

"Emma," she answered with a tense frown. Remembering that it had been over two weeks since she'd heard anything about her son.

"Regina… oh go- He's gone, Regina," Emma hiccupped into the phone. Regina's brow knitted for a moment, trying to make sense of the other woman's words.

"What do you mean, Ms. Swan?"

"Henry… he's gone and he took his things with him! I've had Killian and Neal looking for him all over the city but we can't… I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Emma whimpered as voices argued in the background.

"How long?" Regina asked automatically.

"Last week Wednesday. He was behaving strangely before and he was avoiding me after an argument we had and then on Wednesday he said he had something to tell me after school but her never came home," Emma explained through her tears, sniffling every so often.

"My son has been missing and you didn't think to tell me?" Regina asked between clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, Regina… I didn't know what to do. I told the police immediately and they're searching for him but they said he might have just runaway," Emma sniveled. Regina placed her hand on the counter before her, trying to steady herself as she swayed with shock.

"I'll be in there in the morning," she said before hanging up. She stood for a moment trying to formulate some sort of plan to find her son. She'd watched enough television to know that she couldn't depend on the police to find him, especially the such a huge force like the NYPD that probably had more pressing matters than finding her son.

She needed to call Mallory and Tink and…

"Regina?" Robin called from the front door, his voice sounding much like she felt. She walked on slightly wobbling legs towards the door to see exactly what he wanted. She hoped, feebly that it was her son at the front door, having grown tired of the distance but when she saw Christina at her front door she was thoroughly confused.

"Christina, what are you doing here? Did something happen?" Regina asked, blinking back tears. She didn't think she could handle any more bad news.

"Uh…," Christina started, looking from Robin to Regina, obviously confused.

"This is my ex-wife, Marian, and Roland's mother," Robin grunted heatedly, his hands curled into tight fists. Regina reeled back a bit, looking between the two before her. Christina was Marian, she'd already known that, she just hadn't known she was _that_ Marian. But honestly, how popular of a name could it have been?

"I…."

"Regina, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you and… he… I should go," Christ-Marian rushed out, turning to leave just as fast as she'd come.

"No, you two should talk. I-I have to pack," Regina stated dully, her heart breaking in her chest as Robin tried to reach for her. It was too much, she needed space.

"Henry's missing," she informed him before leaving the two of them and stalking to her bedroom. She locked the door behind herself before sliding down it and taking in a shaky breath.

Why… did G-d hate her so much?

* * *

><p><strong>So? Huh? Angsty enough for you?!<strong>

**I hope you guys like this chapter, not my best work for sure but it's much better than last week's. A lot had to happen in this chapter and I tried to space it out as best as I could in the two hours I had to write this.**

**Drop me a line and let me know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 10

_Regina loved the trees in this particular part of Storybrook. They were tall weeping willows only a short distance from the lake near her home. Despite how close it was to where she lived she knew no one at her house, save the help, knew where it was. Proven by the fact that Zelena had never once found her here and by the fact her mother hadn't already chopped down the trees. Lately it seemed that she was determined to destroy any small piece of happiness either of her daughters had._

_So Regina was grateful, for this one small blessing. Her own private sanctuary._

_"__Who the hell are you and why are you in my spot?" a high pitched voice asked from behind her. Regina turned from her book and looked at the new arrival. She recognized her from school but couldn't quite put a name on the blond. All she knew was that she took her fair share of teasing, mostly from Zelena and her crew._

_"__Who are you?" Regina asked back defiantely. Whoever she was, she wasn't going to get Regina to move. This was her sanctuary._

_"__I asked first," the other girl said, her hands placed on her narrow hips, like she was uttering a challenge._

_"__Yeah, and I asked second," Regina responded with a roll of her eyes. She marked her page and placed her book at her feet before standing up, hoping along the way that she wouldn't have to physically fight the girl. She had only ever had a few scraps with her sister and Zelena always bested her unless the fight was stopped by one of their parents._

_"__Wait, wait. I know you. You're in my social studies class. You talk to that weird boy all the time," the other girl said thoughtfully. Regina nodded._

_"__His name is Jefferson."_

_"__Yeah, whatever… your sister is that red head bitch who always messes with me," she said with a glare._

_"__She gets it from our mom," Regina said quickly, wanting to distance herself from her sister. They weren't any thing alike, anyway, and only half related._

_The other girl looked at her with wide eyes before laughing loudly, almost obnoxiously so. She doubled over and fell to the forest floor with the strength of it. Regina watched her with worried eyes as she backed up; maybe this girl was crazy like all the girls said. Regina certainly didn't see how she could be so amused by the truth._

_By the time the other girl sobered Regina was already halfway to the path that led back to her home._

_"__I thought I was the only one," the girl said with a slight grin. Regina stopped then and regarded her carefully, wondering what she meant._

_"__Only one?" she repeated. The other girl nodded and chuckled slightly to herself._

_"__With a bitch mom," she clarified. Regina's eyes widen as she took a step back towards the girl. She had thought only she was the only one as well. TV moms never did the things her mother did. And it never seemed like anyone else's did either._

_"__Does your mom drink too?" the blond girl asked, looking at her from the corner of her eye. Regina shook her head as she stepped closer, stopping to pick up her discarded book along the way._

_"__Only sometimes. My dad says she's sad so she's mean but I don't really believe him," Regina murmured, stopping to sit a little ways from the blond. The other girl chuckled spitefully._

_"__My dad said the same thing when he left," she muttered darkly, her bright eyes darting to look into up at the sky._

_"__I'm sorry," Regina said quickly. The other girl shrugged and looked back down at her._

_"__Don't be. It was for the best, anyway. He used to watch me," the other girl admitted. They sat in silence for a while after that, Regina twiddling with the pages of her book and the other girl just staring blankly ahead, as if caught in a particularly vivid memory._

_"__Why don't you believe your dad when he says your mom is sad?" the blond asked suddenly._

_"__Because sad people don't hit so hard, I think," Regina responded without pause. The other girl nodded her head and sighed softly._

_"__Yeah… I think so too. I'm Mallory by the way," the girl said, wrapping her arms around her long legs._

_"__Regina."_

* * *

><p>"Why in the world are you pretending as if you don't already know where he went?" Mallory's voice called over the car speakers. Regina rolled her eyes and continued pulling out from her drive way. Robin and Chri-Marian stood watching her with Roland who was waving his arms frantically with a smile. Regina tried not to think about how this would probably be the last time she would see the little boy.<p>

She wasn't too hopeful about her relationship with Robin lasting when his ex-wife was finally back. And there was the fact that she really and truly believed that Marian deserved a second chance with her family. She'd thought it when she thought Marian was Christie and she couldn't stop the feeling now that she knew the truth.

It didn't stop her though, from feeling used and violated. Had the girl always known about her relationship with Robin? Had she chosen her organization for that specific reason?

"Hello, earth to Reggie! Are you listening?" Tink's voice squeaked through the sound system. Regina cursed Mallory for demanding to make this a threeway call.

"Listen, just because I think he might have gone there doesn't mean he did. I'm not leaving my son's life up to chance and there's no way I'm going to Maine on a 'maybe'," Regina gritted out, the hopeful part of her self screaming that it just 'couldn't be'.

"I can't believe that Henry would just up and leave to go backpacking across Canada, okay? Regina… he'd got to be searching for answers. You said that Emma said he'd been asking about his grandparents. He may want to see what they're like on his own," Mallory stated.

"Yeah, maybe if you just got there first you could persuade him to come home with you," Tink added. Regina shook her head and turned onto the I-395.

"Even… even if he is there, me showing up would more than likely be the opposite of helpful. He left to get away from me and if he's going to my mother than I can't believe he'd want to see me. Going there may only push him further away," Regina said, her voice displaying a calmness that she didn't actually feel. In reality she was feeling jittery and scared.

Scared she'd lose her son to her mother but at the same time scared that she wouldn't and he'd have to face the hard truth about her life. That he'd finally see Cora for the monster she was.

"Regina… are you saying that just because you don't want to see your mother?" Tink questioned shyly.

"Oh shut it, you pixie wannabe. Regina's right. Going to face her wicked mother in some final showdown isn't going to help things. It'll only exacerbate the problem, which is Henry thinking his mother, his _real_ mother, is some kind of evil witch sent from the damn fifth dimension or something like that. Let him face Cora on his own and he'll come to his senses sooner or later," Mallory said before Regina even had a chance to tear into her spirited friend. She didn't want to see her mother, no, but she wasn't at all afraid of Cora. Not anymore.

Not really… well, maybe just a little.

"Hey! I'm not a pixie wannabe, you butt! Tinkerbelle is a fairy!" Tink hollered into her phone.

"Yeah, whatever. She had pixie dust so she's a pixie," Mallory responded, no doubt rolling her eyes at Tink's outcry.

"You're only saying this because you don't like Henry," Tink said quickly. Regina raised a brow and waited for her friend's response.

"It's not that I don't like him… he's my g-dson and I love him. I just love my best friend more," Mallory finally said after a short pause.

"But enough about that, I have to get back to work. I'll call in a few favors for you and see if I can get Henry tracked down. In the meantime make your way to New York and rip that stupid vapid blond apart. How dare she neglect to tell you your own son was missing for a whole week? If you want I could draw up some papers and take her for all she's got," Mallory heatedly stated.

"She probably doesn't have too much to give," Tink added smartly.

"There's no need. Just start making calls," Regina said with a sigh.

"And what about me?" Tink asked.

"You can keep… being a pixie. Got to go," Regina chuckled as Tink screeched into the speakers before she hung up on her. She felt a little lighter after having talked to her friends but she was still worried. Worried that somehow or another she'd lose her son. Worried she'd already lost Robin and Roland. Worried that Marian might even relapse under the stress.

So she did something she hadn't done in a long time, not since she was a young girl.

She prayed.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_And that's Mack and that's Colby and that's Jefferson," Regina said, pointing out various kids in the bustling cafeteria and ending with her grinning friend who was making his way through the lunch line while talking to a few boys from their shared Math class. No doubt trying to score the answers to the homework._

_"__That weird looking one is the one you always talk to in Social Studies, right?" Mallory asked with her head cocked to the side. She sat next to Regina at a table close to the exit, munching on Regina's juicy red apple happily. It was the first thing she'd eaten in about two days and it was probably the best thing she'd ever eaten in her whole life._

_"__Jefferson? Yeah… I think he's kind of cute," Regina muttered shyly as said boy began making his way to their table._

_"__Cute? I don't see it. You gonna marry him or something?" Mallory asked teasingly._

_"__What?! No way! My mom would kill me. She says Jefferson's parents are too common. She doesn't even like me being friends with him," Regina said just as Jefferson slid into the seat opposite her on the table, the boy Colby sitting beside him._

_"__Hey, 'Gina. Guess who just scored all the answers to tonight's math homework?" Jefferson gushed._

_"__If you're getting them from Mack you might as well do it yourself. You'll get it all wrong either way," Regina said smartly while rolling her eyes. Jefferson chuckled before turning to look at a now blushing Mallory._

_"__Who's this? You're the girl in our Social Studies class, right?" he asked, taking a bite of his hot pizza._

_"__Yeah. Mallory," she said, introducing herself._

_"__Nish to mish youss," he said around his mouthful of food. Regina grunted in disgust before pulling out her sandwich from her tin lunch box. She frowned and opened it up to see what was inside. Avocado, cream cheese, a slice of tomato, and thinly sliced smoked salmon stared back up at her._

_"__What the hell is that stuff?" Mallory asked with a frown. She'd never seen such a weird looking sandwich in real life. It looked like the type of stuff the chefs made on those cooking shows she sometimes watched._

_"__Our chef made it. Mom said that Zelena and I need to go on a diet so we're only allowed to eat really healthy stuff now," Regina responded before pulling the tomato from her sandwich and taking a bite. Mallory looked down at the discarded tomato and licked her lips._

_"__Do you want it?" Regina asked after noticing her staring. Mallory shyly nodded her head before Regina shrugged and handed it over. Mallory moved threw the already finished apple into the trashcan at the head of the table before taking the tomato slice to munch on. Jefferson eyed her wearily for a moment before turning to talk with Colby._

_"__Do you want to split my sandwich?" Regina asked with a frown, finally noticing the empty spot in front of her friend._

_"__Nope. I'm um… a vegetarian. And not the kind that eats fish," Mallory said before standing from the table._

_"__Where're you going?" Regina asked quickly, about to put her lunch away and follow after her new friend._

_"__I gotta go to the library. I forgot I have to return a book! Just stay here and I'll see you in class!" Mallory called over her shoulder as she rushed from the cafeteria, Regina and Jefferson watching after her._

_"__She's weird. What the heck are you talking to her for?" he quickly asked. Regina just shrugged her shoulders and fiddled with her sandwich bag._

_"__She's like me," Regina said before standing to follow._

_"__I'll see you in class," she muttered._

* * *

><p>"Regina, I swear," Emma started as soon as she'd opened her apartment door. Regina promptly ignored her and instead focused on finding her son's room. She'd been in the city for two days before contacting Emma. In that time she'd hired a private investigator and had Mallory call in a few favors for her. She spent most of the time talking with officers about what they were doing to find her son, then she'd gone to the school which had given her more grief than help.<p>

Since she wasn't listed as his guardian in their files they'd refused to give her any information that could be helpful. Luckily one of Henry's friends had been in the office while she was busy cursing the clerks for being so useless; Arthur or something like that. He'd agreed to meet with her later the next day with a few of Henry's other new friends.

And now, instead of being too early for said meeting, she'd decided that perhaps his room would have some type of clues as to where he could have gone.

She had her suspicions but she was determined to ignore them.

"You must be Regina, nice to meet you," a man with dark brown hair and a sparse beard said, stepping from the living room and towards her. Regina lifted a finely manicured brow as she looked him up and down.

"You are?" she asked as she looked around the small flat. She was surprised by how neat it seemed to be. Whenever Emma visited she always left her guest room in a general state of disorder.

"I'm Neal, Henry's dad," he stated with a subdued smile," Sorry we had to meet under such circumstances."

"I'll be honest with you; I don't care anything about you. As far as I'm concerned you're just as much of an irresponsible parent as Ms. Swan. Now, which room belonged to my son?" she asked with a glare. He stepped back and narrowed his eyes, no doubt ready to jump to his precious Emma's defense.

"Save your excuses for someone who cares," she said, stopping him before he could even start. Emma stepped from behind her, tears gathering in the corners of her light eyes. Looking at her now, Regina could tell she'd been crying. Her eyes were red rimmed, the tip of her nose looked like it was scabbing over probably from her use of too rough tissues. She looked and smelled as if she hadn't taken a single shower since Henry's disappearance.

"Regina...," she whimpered pathetically.

"Get yourself together, you pathetic little girl. I don't have the time or patience to deal with you falling apart and looking for my son on my own. So wipe away your useless tears, go take a shower, and get dressed. We have work to do," Regina ordered before turning from the two of them and stalking further down the short hall and peering into both rooms before walking into the one decorated with superhero posters. There was no doubt that this was where Henry had slept in his time in New York.

She sat on his bed and looked out the window facing the back of the building. A small courtyard filled with passing strangers and a small play area for children. There weren't many people milling around with the temperature dropping like it was but she wondered if Henry had ever spent time down there. Or up here people watching.

Looking around his room filled her with longing and just the tiniest bit of anguish. When she was younger she had talked about visiting New York with Daniel. He wanted to be close to his family in Boston but she'd always felt a pull to this particular city where her parents had met. She remembered that her mother only ever seemed to be happy when talking about her socialite lifestyle in the big city. Consequently she blamed having children as the reason why she had become so miserable.

What Regina never understood was why, between the two of them, so much of her fury directed at her youngest child? From what she knew Zelena was a drunken mistake while she'd been planned.

"She's having a hard time right now too," a new voice said from the door way. Standing there was man decked in a startling amount of leather.

"And you are?"

"Killian at your service," he said with a slight smirk.

"One of Ms. Swan's men, I presume. Seems she's quite popular in this city. I only wish she'd spent more time looking after my son than throwing her legs open for the two of you. Maybe he'd still be here and not goodness only knows where," Regina bit out, standing from Henry's lumpy bed. Killian looked at her with a slightly amused smirk before shrugging off her words.

"I wish you'd spent a little more time being honest with your son instead of doing goodness only knows what. Maybe he'd still be here," he responded with a wave of his hand, as if dismissing her previous statement. Regina narrowed her eyes, her lips twisted in a silent snarl. She wanted to rip him limb from limb. How dare he act as if he knew anything at all about her relationship with her son?

"I see you've already made up your mind about who you think I am. Let me correct that. I have never lied to my son, not once in all my life. I may have neglected to share some things with him but as a parent that is my right. And I don't need you or Ms. Swan or Neal to be walking around thinking that I have ever wronged that boy. Whatever Ms. Swan or Henry have told you is only half the story. The other half being my business to share and not yours to know, you cheap pleather wearing buffoon," Regina hissed, stepping within an inch of his smug little face. She smiled widely as his smirk fell from his face. She stepped back from him and folded her arms around herself before sighing out to release a bit of anger. It wouldn't do her any good, berating this idiot. She needed to stay in control and composed if she wanted her coming 'meeting' to be at all productive.

"And for the record, I could care less how hard of a time she's having. I raised that boy since he was a baby, one that she gave up and never looked for. I did everything I could to protect him and keep him happy, even going as far as tracking that woman down because I knew he wanted to meet her; even though it hurt me to my core to hear him call another woman 'Mom'. I did it for him. And now… she's lost my son and didn't even think to tell me until a week had past. So excuse me if I don't give a damn about her feelings. She didn't care about mine," Regina rushed out, feeling more exhausted with each word. Killian gave her a strange look before shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

"She called Sunday. She tried to tell you then but you hung up on her. I was there," he said quickly. Regina shook her head in disbelief.

"She didn't call me. I would have answered because I was pissed that she'd neglected to contact be for two weeks. I wanted an update on my son, I would have answered," Regina stressed, pulling out her phone as she spoke. She pulled up her call history and began scrolling down. There were no missed or received calls from Emma until Wednesday.

"She called Sunday, I was there," he grumbled moving to look down at her screen. At the end of the list was a missed call from Tink she'd received Sunday evening around ten.

"I don't have anything from her," Regina grunted.

"Or anything from Sunday morning to Afternoon. Do you delete your call history? She called and it was around seven. I was with her here because she needed the company after work. I know she called. I watched her do it," Killian said just as Emma stepped into the room, looking a thousand times cleaner than she had earlier. Her eyes were still puffy and her nose was a bit redder than before but all in all she looked much better than before.

"What's going on?" Emma asked with a shaky voice.

"She said she never got your call on Sunday," Killian stated. Emma looked between them and frowned slightly.

"I called Sunday after I got off of work. I couldn't keep not telling you but you ignored the call. I thought you were angry and then I was too scared to call back," Emma explained.

"That doesn't make sense. I was home all day Sunday with Roland and Robin," Regina said, glaring at the two of them. Liars.

"I swear, Regina. I called. I couldn't take not being honest with you anymore. The only reason I didn't call back until Wednesday, other than my fear, was because I threw my phone out the window after you ignored my call. I was so angry," Emma said, lips trembling as she tried to hold a new batch of tears at bay.

"That isn't possible. I'd just told Robin about how frustrated I was with you for not calling. And that I was planning to call you and give you a piece of my mind," Regina said with a sneer.

"Who the hell is Robin?" Killian asked.

"None of your business," Regina responded hotly. Killian held up his hands in surrender before shrugging it off and moving to Emma's side.

"All I'm saying is that maybe you need to ask him if maybe… he ignored the call. Because, regardless you whether believe Emma or me, the truth is that she did call you," he said before stepping from the room and leaving the two women in the room. Regina thought back to Sunday and tried to figure out if there was any time she'd left her phone unattended. The only time she could think of, outside of breakfast, was when she'd went to go read a story to Roland. She made it a habit to keep her phone on hold. She didn't have a separate business line for her workers or her charges to call. They usually either called her cell or her house phone.

"Regina I'm just… I should have told you the moment I realized he wasn't coming back. I thought if I just give him a day or two he'd come back but that was stupid and irresponsible of me. I'm sorry," Emma explained, shivering under Regina's narrowed eyes.

"Can you give me a moment? I need to make a call," Regina said before turning her back to the other woman. Emma nodded and left the room after a second, closing the door behind her.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_I slept with Jefferson," Mallory said with a sneer as she sat beside her friend's bed. Regina lay on it with her eyes closed, arm thrown across her face to block the light from the bare window._

_"__Okay," Regina muttered softly._

_"__I slept with him before we graduated. Before you two broke up. And I slept with him again yesterday. I always liked him," Mallory admitted softly, fat tears gathering in the corners of her eyes._

_"__Okay," Regina repeated with a slight shrug._

_"__Aren't you angry at me? I thought I was in love with him back when we went to school together. But he only had eyes for you… so I slept with him at your birthday party, after Cora came and got you. We were left cleaning everything up and I… just did it," Mallory explained, her hands shaking in her lap as she watched her friend for a reaction._

_"__I don't care. I never loved him. I loved Daniel," Regina mumbled softly, her lips trembling as tears rushed down the sides of her face. Sweet Daniel, lovely wonderful Daniel who made her feel worth something. But Daniel was gone and Mallory was slipping away and… so was she. Slipping away, like a boat out to sea. So poetic. Daniel would have liked to hear her being so poetic. He liked fancy word play. Daniel liked her. Loved her. Like Mallory had always loved Jefferson. And she'd known. She'd always known._

_"__Aren't you going to get angry at me? Damnit, Regina! Aren't you going to do anything?! Are you even still alive?!" Mallory screamed, standing so abruptly that she knockjed her chair to the floor. She crawled onto the bed and took Regina's shoulders into her hands before shaking the girl feircly._

_"__Say something! Do something! Don't just lie here and die! Daniel isn't worth that. I don't care how much you loved him; he was never worth you anyway! Neither was Jefferson. No one, Regina, no one is worth this. I refuse to let you lay here every day wallowing in your grief. I will not bury you, you hear me? You aren't allowed to fucking waste away like this!" Mallory screamed, spit flying from her lipstick smeared lips. Regina coughed then, taking in the smell of cheap perfume and sex wafting from her friend._

_"__You… smell atrocious," she grumbled, pushing the other woman away. Mallory laughed at her gruffness as she sat back on her knees._

_"__I didn't take a shower before leaving. I just came here. Regina… I…," she began only to be stopped by Zelena sticking her head into the room. Her bright blue eyes staring at them with amusement._

_"__When you two are done being lesbians together, mother has called everyone down for dinner," she said with a smirk, shutting the door behind her._

_Mallory rolled her eyes before looking back at her best friend. Regina looked out the window and then back at Mallory with a slight smile. "I don't want to be alone," she whispered softly._

_"__We should… get you a puppy so that when I'm not here you'll have someone. They say animals help with these sorts of things. Remember Lucy?" Mallory says, thinking of her old golden retriever. She'd loved that dog before her mother had sold it. She'd never felt alone with Lucy and Regina at her side._

_"__Yeah. I loved Lucy," Regina mumbled._

_"__So let's get you your own Lucy. And then you'll feel better, I just know it," Mallory said with a bright smile, happy that her friend was finally coming around._

_"__And I am… a little mad that you slept with Jefferson. But only because you… never told me before how you felt even though I knew you liked him when I saw you dance with him at my party. I broke up with him more because of that than because of my mother 'forcing' me to," Regina said as she stood to get dressed. Her mother hated her being in her pajamas at the dinner table._

_Mallory grinned and rubbed Regina's outstretched hand, grimacing only at the sight of the bandages covering her forearm._

_"__I'm sorry about that," she murmured, gesturing to the slightly red coloring at the side of it._

_"__It just grazed me. Not like he shot my arm off, no worries," Regina said._

* * *

><p>"Regina?" Robin asked into the phone, his voice filled with equals parts concern and surprise.<p>

"Did you ignore a call from Emma on my phone?" she asked without pause. She heard his quick intake of breath and frowned.

"Regina… I didn't mean to," he started.

"Didn't mean to? You deleted my call history," she said in disbelief.

"It just happened. I swear it. One moment she's calling and the next moment the screen was blank. I didn't even realize I'd done it until afterwards. If I had known why she was calling I wouldn't have done it," he explained.

"What would it matter, 'why'? I told you that I thought she was avoiding calling me. I told you that I was worried and you… didn't even tell me that she'd called. Why?" she asked, pacing around Henry's small room.

"I… I don't know. I just thought about how good things were going and I guess, maybe, that I was scared that you'd go back to avoiding us if you heard something about Henry. It was stupid of me and I'm truly sorry," Robin said.

"I'm so sick of apologies. Everyone is always sorry," Regina muttered before taking a deep breath.

"Re…."

"I'll deal with you when I get back. Until then… don't call me. Focus on fixing your family," Regina stated with a side shake of her head before hanging up the phone. She took a moment to compose herself before opening Henry's room door. She didn't have time to worry about what Robin had or hadn't done. She had a son to find.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! Sorry for nothing yesterday but I promised not to write when I wasn't feeling too well and I spent most of yesterday throwing up, I think my nephew gave me something.<strong>

**Anyway, woah! Drama and this is a pretty long chapter too, maybe longer than that other one I did before that seemed extra long.**

**Drop me a line and let me know what you think. Also the part two to Henry's companion piece should be out sometime this week. I wrote part of it and then realized I'd forgotten to add some very important plot points into it so I have to rework it.**

**AND (Gosh this is turning into a really long note) I hope no one's bothered by the flashbacks breaking up the story. I thought it would good to put them in to give you guys a better feel for why the present is the way it is. I promise you guys there will be a happy ending but you know, if you're going through hell you've got to keep going.**

**And um… to the person who commented about me writing G-d like I write it, yes it is a religious thing for me that I'd rather not explain (It's a long and terribly droll story.) I hope it doesn't bother you too much.**

**I think… that's it for this note. Sorry it's so long but I had a lot to say to you guys. Plus I like how interactive this feels. **


	12. Chapter 11

**I just wanted to say to people that once this is over I'll be actively writing Fairy Blood and editing all mistakes in this story. Right now I'm a bit more concerned with churning chapters out (which isn't an excuse so much as reality) than getting a beta or rereading four or five times to catch all my mistakes.**

**Still I hope you can read this and still enjoy it despite the flaws. And I promise to try and be more attentive to my mistakes while writing.**

**Uh… yeah, so enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

><p>When she goes with Emma to meet with Henry's school friends she's surprised by how many of them there are. Henry's a kind boy but he's only ever had one or two friends in DC. He's more concerned with getting his comics on time or beating the newest game, which doesn't leave him much time for friends. Or so he's always said.<p>

So seeing the seven of them and being told there would be eight of them if one hadn't been injured invokes an odd emotion from her. Gratitude, perhaps? She isn't too sure what it is but she's happy to know that there are people out there who enjoy her son's company almost as much as she does. Lance seems to be the ring leader, though Arthur seems like the type who would never be content to play second fiddle.

They're all rather nice and well mannered, though she can tell that some amongst them aren't too happy at the idea of talking about Henry. Gwen specifically sneers with distaste ever time his name is mentioned. Arthur rolls his eyes every time Lance says something particularly positive about her boy and she wonders why he even intervened in her tirade at the school to help her find Henry if he doesn't like the boy?

"And we've heard he choked Peter so that's a plus," Gwaine said with a slight smirk playing on his lips. She perks up at this and offers him a hard look to spur him into explaining. Her son has never been particularly violent. Not without just cause.

"Yeah, the reason we stopped hanging out with him was because he started… dating Peter. He's not a good person, he sees something he wants and takes it. He wanted Henry and tried well… I wasn't there but I have my ideas. He's done it before," Gwaine continued. Regina turned to Emma who looked just as shocked and appalled at the idea that their son might have been…

"And how do you know he… takes things?" Regina asked softly.

"He took… from a friend of ours," Gwen said, her eyes snapping with rage.

"And we warned him, but he didn't believe us," the girl added. Regina turned to Emma with a glare.

"Did you notice him with someone?" she asked. Emma nodded her head dejectedly.

"I- they were in the house. I walked in on them kissing. I didn't think anything of it. So what if my son likes kissing boys. I have two boyfriends, you know. The only thing that bothered me was that the boy, Peter seemed more than a bit older than Henry. And they were skipping school to make out in my living room. We argued and he left. Neal said he had a talk with him and everything seemed better. His nightmares even stopped," Emma explained.

"Nightmares?" Regina asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, he'd wake up screaming the first few weeks. But they quieted down after he talked with Neal," Emma said with a shrug. Regina looked at her for a moment, amazed at how a person could care and be so inept in the same breath.

"You didn't think to tell me? Do you even have any idea what those nightmares were about? Did you ask him once, try to sit with him and figure out how in the hell you could have helped him? Anything but fuck two men at the same time?" Regina spat, standing abruptly from her seat in the pizzeria. Lance stood then too, watching Regina pant like a mad dog in the direction of the blond.

"There is nothing redeemable about you, it seems. I should have never allowed my son to meet you. You, who does the bare minimum and then whines when someone chews you out for being so damn useless. You can leave now, Ms. Swan. Suck as many phalluses as you please you cow. My son was hurting, and for whatever reason you let it continue. What if the nightmares didn't stop? What if he just got better at being quiet, have you thought of that?" Regina sneered, her eyes flashing with fire.

"You know something?" Emma asked after a tense moment. The stiffening of Regina's posture telling her that she was correct.

"The nightmares… Henry told me about them once," Lance said, interrupting the two. Regina turned to him and motioned for him to continue on.

"He said… he thought he might have done something bad to someone named Sidney. He dreamed every night about it and… about you, Ms. Mills. About you lying with glass sticking from your skin, covered in blood and bruises," Lance explained, his voice low. Regina bit her lip as tears sprang to her eyes. She'd worked so hard for him to not remember and now he was… with no one to turn to.

"They said… that Peter was hurt really bad when they found him. Almost dead. That's probably why Henry ran away. He was probably just too scared to go home," Lance finished. Regina nodded and thanked the group of them before gathering her things and leaving the place, Emma still stuck in her chair with a horrified look in her eyes.

"Please… keep what you know to yourself," Regina asked as she let the door close behind her.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Fuck! Regina he's too heavy," Mallory grumbled, the end of the large trash bag slipping from her hands and unto the floor with a thud. Regina placed her end down and took a shuttering breath before wiping the sweat from her brow._

_"__The sooner we do this the sooner we can leave this all behind us. Just help me," Regina bit out, feeling tired beyond her years. She just wanted to sleep, really._

_"__You owe me, you know that right? You're lucky I love you, Regina or I'd just leave," Mallory hissed, moving to pick up her end once more. She'd since changed out of her dress and into a pair of sweats and a tee that she'd left over the last time she'd come to visit. It was warmer than her previous outfit but not by too much._

_Regina rolled her eyes and picked up her end, stumbling slowly out the side door and towards Mallory's car._

_"__Why are we putting this junk in my car?" the blond hissed._

_"__Because if the police end up suspecting someone, it'll probably be me and if they find anything in my car then I'm done for, you understand that don't you, Ms. Lawyer," Regina grounded out. Mallory rolled her eyes._

_"__Don't get smart with me. They'd probably look in my car too, I'm your only friend in the whole damned world and who knows how much longer that'll last," Mallory taunted._

_"__Really? So you're going to stop talking to me over this?" Regina asked, frowning slightly._

_"__Not just this. You may not realize it but you throw the fact that I'm a shit mom in my face quite often. And I've had enough of it. If I thought, even for one moment, that I was ready to be a steady part of her life I would be there. But I'm not and I don't need you judging me for that," Mallory said, sniffling._

_"__Mal-I didn't… I never meant to do that. I just don't think you know just how much you're hurting her. She needs a mother more than she needs the child support you pay or the gifts you give. But, you're right. If you could, I know you would. You'll be a great mom when you're ready for it," Regina stated with a sigh. Mallory smiled and shook her head before continuing on. They walked along in silence for a long moment, only talking again once the body was firmly set in the trunk._

_"__What do we do now?" Regina asked._

_"__We just have to dump him somewhere. Or we can set him on fire. That's how I did it," Mallory suggested, rubbing her hands together for warmth._

_Regina thought for a long time before responding. "You drive and dump him. I have to clean up," Regina said. Mallory nodded before gesturing to Henry._

_"__Take him, maybe a ride will put him to sleep," Regina said with a tight grimace. Mallory nodded her head before stepping over to the driver's seat._

_"__Regina… use a lot of bleach and fix the tree. I've got some people I know who want to relocate out here. I'll call them in the morning and tell them you're selling your house," Mallory said._

_"__Selling it… I can't. Daniel…," Regina trailed off._

_"__Would have wanted you out of the house where a man tried to kill you. You're moving to DC with me. You owe me that much."_

* * *

><p>"Why is your son walking around smelling like a garbage can?" Jefferson's voice rang offin her ears.<p>

He'd called moments after she'd gotten into her hotel room. She'd thought, at first, to ignore him. They hadn't been on the best of terms since she'd punched him after he'd tried to force Mallory to keep the baby (which she'd ended up doing anyway) so it's a surprise he'd called her at all. When she hears that he has Henry, taking a shower in his room she almost drops to the floor with relief.

"He's okay? Does he have any bruises on him?" she questioned, thinking about what Lance had said about Peter and hoping the little bastard hadn't taken anything from her boy. She will bury him and all he loves in a sea of fire if that is the case. Hell, she'll bury him in a sea of fire regardless. No one touches her son and gets away with it.

"He's fine now. I saw him walking on the road. He said he'd walked from Augusta. Regina… what the hell is going on?" Jefferson asked, suspiciously.

Regina thinks for a moment, wondering whether he would believe a lie or not, before deciding to just tell him the truth. If there is one thing that she had always appreciated about Jefferson, even when his teeth had cut into her knuckles, it's that he will always listen to what she has to say without judging her. In a different life she could have seen herself really loving him.

So she explains it all to him, from that cold winter day years before to the present. He listens attentively without so much as one misplaced joke, which is surprising. He's always been the kind of man to try and lighten any heavy mood but it's obvious to her that he's changed. He isn't the same boy she'd grown up with. Or the same desperate man she'd punched and threatened when Mallory had first begun showing.

"So then he thinks he's killed someone else now, is that it?" Jefferson asked she had stopped talking.

"I think so… Jefferson please, please try to convince him to call me. I know he's scared right now but I can help him, if he'd only let me," Regina pleaded. Jefferson groaned and sighed into the phone. She could imagine the scowl he'd be wearing on the other end.

"Regina, I'll say something but I don't know how much of a difference you think it'll make. He's determined to get to your mother's house. I can't stop him if he really wants to go. Though I know… how horrible she was to you, Henry doesn't and if he wouldn't believe you then why would he believe me?" Jefferson asked calmly.

"I-I don't know but I need you to try Jefferson. I can't live without my son," Regina said, her voice trembling.

"I'll try, 'Gina. But if your mother catches wind of him being here in town, and she will, there will be no hope for him staying with me," Jefferson stated. They talk for a few minutes more about Mallory and Grace and what's keeping them from one another. He admits that it's Grace's idea and not his own to stop the visits.

"Grace is… she's tired, 'Gina. And angry and I know it hurts Mallory but my daughter's feelings come first."

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_You think I care about that whore? She fucking… she told me she loved me, 'Gina. And now she won't even look me in the eyes. She wouldn't even tell me she'd pregnant! I want my child, 'Gina. No one is going to get in my way!" Jefferson screamed, standing on the stoop of Mallory's home. Regina standing in the doorway while Mallory sat in the living room, rocking a sleeping Henry in her arms._

_"__Get out of here Jefferson. She'll do whatever she wants with her body. You can't stop her," Regina said, her hands planted firmly on her hips. Jefferson looked wildly over her shoulder towards the woman who had held his damn heart in her hands and crushed it._

_"__You're a miserable bitch just like you mother. You said you loved me… you only wanted to fuck me, is that it? You wanted to add another body to your list of conquests," Jefferson hissed heatedly. Regina took another step closer to him, her brown eyes flashing with fury._

_"__Don't you dare speak about her like that, you cad. She's her own woman, she can make her own decisions. I suggest you leave before you say something you'll regret," she grunted._

_"__Like what? The truth? Did she tell you, Regina? How we had sex while _we _were still together? How we had sex almost every single week until graduation? Or did she say it was only one time?" He taunted, watching as Regina's face flashed with shock and hurt for a second before her mask of rage came back._

_"__You think I care? Jefferson, when my mother said to break up with you because you weren't good enough for me… I agreed. Because you weren't. I didn't even cry about it because I already knew. I'd seen the way Mal looked at you and… I didn't care," Regina sighed with a nonchalant shrug._

_In the next second Regina had a wad of spit on her cheek and then her fist planted firmly in his cheek. She watched him tumble down the stairs with a smile._

_"__Take care, Jefferson," Regina sneered, wiping the spit from her cheek as she made her way back into the building._

* * *

><p>"Regina, sorry, I know that you're really busy trying to find Henry but we have a situation here," Mulan rushed out, sounding as if she'd run along way to reach her phone in time. Regina furrowed her brow, as if she didn't need more work on her plate now.<p>

"What is it Mulan?" she asked as calmly as she could.

"That woman, the red head came back. At first I was going to send her away but… Regina someone beat her up really bad. She's in the hospital and she only wants to see you.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun dun! Looks like Zelena's back, wonder what that's about?<strong>

**Anyway, here's the next piece and I hope you guys enjoy it. I'll be wrapping this thing up pretty soon, actually. Almost everything I'd wanted to happen has and there's just a bit more to go.**

**Also… did anyone else tear up on Sunday? Talk about emotional rollercoaster.**


	13. Chapter 12

_Mallory was the one to point him out, sitting in a booth on the opposite side of the room reading through the menu with a pair of wireframe glasses perched on the tip of his nose, as she rants about all the reasons she should break it off with Graham; 'he's sensitive, he cries too much, his house smells like a zoo, he smells like a zoo, his dog tried to bite off my finger, you said it yourself… he's penis is small!' She drones on and on for the better part of a half hour about why Regina should just call it quits and that's when her blond friend points him out._

_"__And his face is weird. Get a cute guy like that," she urged, throwing her finger in the direction of the handsome brunet sitting not too far from them. In that moment Regina allows herself to oogle a bit. He's tall, she can tell by the length of his legs under the table, his hair is cut in a simple style and brown like chocolate; his lips are stretched into a small grin as he greets who she supposes is his date that evening. She's a pretty blond and the two seem like they'd make a pretty couple. She sighs and turns away._

_"__I'm happy with Graham," she lied with a shrug. She had been, before, but that was before all the animals taking residence in his small one bedroom. How, she wonders, is it possible for a person to have six birds, two cats, four dogs, and one guinea pig in such a small space without people calling the cops about the noise? Or the smell?_

_"__You say that now just wait until the party tonight. A charity party thrown by a broke loser? Who ever heard of such nonsense?" Mallory grumbled, taking a bite of her burger. Regina just shook her head and pushed her salad around._

_"__Is everything okay?" Mallory asked, holding a tissue to her mouth to hide the food she was still chewing._

_"__No… maybe you're right," Regina admitted, casting a fleeting glance to the brunet from before. This time though, when she looks he is looking right back._

* * *

><p>When she finally made it into the hospital, after rushing to check out of her hotel and hit the road (where she nearly killed herself twice while speeding), she was told she'd have to come back the following day during visiting hours. It figured, since she'd arrived at close to eleven at night but she still felt like absolute shit about it. She didn't want to put up too much fight, lest they bar her from visiting all together, but she was worried. She'd never, in all her life, seen Zelena looking less than her best. So the idea of her being beaten so severely that she'd had to be hospitalized was… terrifying.<p>

There was also the part of her, the bigger part, which wondered just why the hell she even cared. It wasn't like Zelena had done anything but torment her their whole lives. Back when Cora would make her stand in a corner for seven hours, Zelena would taunt her. Laughing when she'd accidentally wet herself or when she inevitably began to cry from exhaustion. There'd never been a time that she could think of where Zelena had ever come running to her rescue. And if things were reversed, and she was in the hospital, she doubted Zelena would come looking for her.

So why had she rushed from New York just to be here for the one person who probably hated her more than anything?

Well… they were sisters and even if that meant close to nothing for Zelena it meant something for Regina. Now, with her son in Maine and sure to fall under her mother's manipulation, more than ever. And maybe… if things between the two of them worked out she could use Zelena to convince Henry to come back.

* * *

><p>When she makes her way home, feeling wired and twitchy, Robin is sitting on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands, as if he had been waiting for her return. Which is a ridiculous thought since she hadn't bothered to call him to inform him of her return.<p>

"What are you doing?" Regina asked, setting her suitcase next to the door. Robin looked up at her, his eyes brimming with barely held in tears.

"I um… Roland left his stuffed monkey here and I came back to get it," he murmured. She nodded and noticed said stuffed toy on his lap.

"Well you've got it. You should probably leave," she said firmly before heading to her bathroom. She needed a long soak before bed, needing to someway to calm her over hyped body.

"Regina… please don't cut us out of your life," he whispered behind her, his voice cracking with the force to hold his tears at bay.

"Now's not the time for that talk, Robin. I'm tired and sticky. I need to bath and then sleep."

"Then when, Regina? I can't live without you!" Robin exclaimed, standing immediately to reach for her. She whipped around and backed up from him before he could make contact with her bare skin.

"Don't touch me. Robin… you did something so selfish and hurtful that could have cost me my son. I'm lucky because I know where he is but he still doesn't want to come home to me and I've been playing family with you and Roland when I should have been focused on mending my relationship with my real son!" Regina cried, frustrated. How could he not understand this?

"He isn't your son, Regina!" Robin shouted, his face turning red. "Roland asked me… when I introduced him to Marian why you didn't want to be his mommy anymore. Regina, you're killing us for a boy who only loves you conditionally. I would watch the world burn for you; I would do anything just to protect you. You, who has taken every bit of grief this world has to offer and carries it on her shoulders just to take care of other people. If you let me, I can be your champion. We could be a family!"

Regina reeled back, her backside hitting the close bathroom door behind her while Robin stepped closer, reaching his hands out to touch her. He trailed a rough finger down her cheek before letting his hands drop limply to his sides, his forehead pressed her hers. His jaw trembled as he blinked his coming tears away. Regina took in a shaky breath as she closed her eyes to him. She couldn't do this.

It was too much.

"He may not love me like I love him… but I won't never give up on him. He's all I have," she murmured softly.

"You have us," Robin responded weakly, his heart pounding in his chest. Regina bit her lip and shook her head.

"Marian… deserves a second chance, Robin. With Roland… with you," she whispered with a slight nod.

"She left us… she just up and left us. She doesn't deserve Roland. And Roland doesn't love her, he loves you. I love you," Robin declared, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"Talk to her, Robin. She's been through so much that you never knew about and she deserves her son, if nothing else and I won't stand in the way of that. I can't… I know what it's like to feel like you have to compete for the love of your own child and it isn't fair for me to subject her to that too," Regina cried, opening her eyes to look into his.

"I can't see you anymore, Robin. If not because of you ignoring Emma's call or because of Henry… I can't see you because Roland has a mother, a real mom, who's made mistakes and is paying for them every single day all so she can see him again. She loves, Robin. More than anything in this world. She loves him, I know it. And I will not be the reason she can't connect with her son. You can't ask that of me," Regina said, her own hands pressed against his warm chest. She let them trail up and down his torso, trying to commit every part of him she could feel to memory.

"Regina… please, I won't ask you for anything more just… don't push us out. I love you, I love you so much," he pleaded, rocking back and forth on his feet. Regina smiles sadly and pulled him into a passionate kiss before shoving him back towards the bed.

"I have to take a shower… please leave before I get out," she murmured before opening the door to the bathroom and locking herself inside. She took a deep breath on the other side before going about her business.

She wished… she had a child of her own. Someone who was hers undoubtedly who she could love without stepping on anyone else's toes.

And Robin, she wished she could have him too.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Beautiful view isn't it?" a voice asked from behind her. Regina glanced behind her and came face to face with the brunet from the diner she'd been in with Mallory earlier. She smile shyly and nodded her head. Hopefully he didn't bring up her staring earlier._

_"__I like it enough, I suppose. I'm out here more to get a break from the party than anything," Regina admitted with a slight shrug. The man behind her chuckled and nodded his head before taking the empty space on the railing besides her._

_"__Same here, nice things\ that's being done, I think. But... seems a little odd to have invited so many broke college students though," he said. Regina rolled her eyes and nodded, she'd thought the same thing._

_How could one throw a 'Charity Party' and then only invite those who could barely afford to pay attention. Though, she supposed, there was a benefit to having a well off girlfriend. She could offer to match whatever was raised by the end of the night without so much as blinking an eye._

_"__I thought the same thing but Graham is… exactly who he wants to be. I admire that about him, if nothing else," Regina stated with s soft sigh. The man next to her looked her over with a slight smile._

_"__And are who you want to be?" he asked softly. She shook her head after a moment, grimacing at his question._

_"__Not yet, but I'm getting there. I'm Regina, by the way," she said, offering him her hand to shake. He took it and placed a warm kiss on the back of it with a smile._

_"__Daniel."_

* * *

><p>When she made it to the hospital Zelena was propped up and watching some daytime drama on the small television in the right corner of the room. There was a tray filled with empty jello cups and half-finished chicken noodle soup. She seemed to be fine from a distance but once Regina had made it to the doorway she saw the real toll that had been taken out of the redhead.<p>

Her left eye was swollen shut, glowing a fierce black and purple under the florescent lighting. Her pale skin was riddled with swelling bruises and nasty red cuts that had just begun to scab over. Her right hand was in a cast along with her left foot which was propped up on top a stack of pillows. When the redhead spotted her she sneered but otherwise offered her no greeting, instead focusing on the big climatic scene playing out on the screen before her.

"I told you Dustin was no good! Ugh, Kelly, you stupid whore," she grunted as Regina stepped into the room. She placed a vase filled with a bouquet of petunias, pink tulips, white tulips, and a single cosmos flower. Zelena looked over to the assortment before snorting out a laugh.

"I remember when mother made us take up flower arrangement. Petunias mean anger, pink tulips to show you care, white for forgiveness, and cosmos to wish me well. You're still such a bitch, even now," the red head hissed.

Regina chuckled and shrugged, she wasn't sure whether Zelena would have remembered that time now but it was good to see she did. At least that meant she probably didn't have any sort of concussion.

"Well I thought some familiarity would do you some good," Regina said as she sat in the seat to the right, surprised by how comfy it was.

"I have really good insurance," Zelena murmured as she watched her sister's face. They sat in silence after that, watching the television until the episode ended.

"Who… did this to you?" Regina asked, tentatively.

"Walsh, the bastard. But it's not as bad as it looks, dear. And if you want to feel bad for someone you should take a look at him," Zelena murmured with a sneer.

Regina rubbed her hands together and chuckled. Same old Zelena.

"I hated you for a long time, Regina. Really really hated you," Zelena admitted.

"Why, Zelena? I never did anything to you," Regina questioned curiously. She'd always wondered why and how their relationship had gotten so bad. She'd thought it was more due to her mother pitting them against one another but she couldn't remember a time when her mother ever forcing to do anything together except eating dinner together or going on family trips. Mostly she would separate them and force Zelena to do her bidding while Regina suffered her fists in silence.

"I did everything mother ever asked me and she did everything for you. I remember being six years old and mother running from party to party looking for a husband. She met your father and it was love at first sight. She'd stay with him for days at a time and then come back just to make sure I hadn't starved. She said he was going to be my new father but she never told him about me. She never told anyone about me because I was her shame. My father was just some drunk who made mother promises he could never keep.

"He ran off when I was one. Left her a single mother with a sickly child. She struggled to take care of me only to tell people I was the daughter of her ailing sister. She never claimed me in public, on the rare occasion when she took me out. But you… she wanted you so bad. She loved your father and I probably never hated a man more. Sometimes when she'd return her eyes would be caked with foundation to hide black eyes and various bruises. You may not know it, but your father was a drunken maniac back then," Zelena muttered with a sigh. Regina nodded her head silently as she listened. She'd never heard anything about her mother's life before her marriage to her father except for when she talked about her years of being a socialite from an old money family that had long lost their money.

Whenever she'd asked her father about his life with her mother he'd always change the subject. The only time she had ever seen her father cry in all her life was when her mother had broken two of her ribs after a particularly nasty beating. He'd begged her not to take his mistakes out on Regina.

_'__I'm teaching her! I'm teaching her so she never ends up with a man like you!'_ Cora had screamed. Back then Regina just thought it was her father's weakness that her mother had wanted her to learn from. Perhaps not.

"And when mother got pregnant she was so damned happy. She said 'Lennie, your little sister's coming. I can't wait for to meet her, she's going to so beautiful.' Mother never called me beautiful. She never showed me any affection. But she already loved you so much and I hated it. I was so jealous. When she gave birth she came back after three days in the hospital, showed me how to fix your formula and feed you and then she locked herself in her room for the rest of the week.

"I thought I could try to love you if I had to raise you but then your father came. Broke down the door and took you from my arms. He told her he wanted to be a family. Just the three of you. And he only took me because she refused to give me up. And she still loved you. Fell apart in his arms clutching you like you were the only real thing in her whole life. And all I could ever do was watch. Watch him beat her and then apologize. Watch him have a stroke and how his whole demeanor changed then. Watched my mother love you and watched you throw it all back in her damn face!" Zelena raged.

"Throw it back in her face? She beat me Zelena!" Regina responded hotly. Zelena rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"She did everything for you. So that you could be the daughter she wanted, the strong daughter. The perfect daughter. While I did everything she told me she let you get away with everything. She told me to sleep with that man, _Leo_, when I was sixteen so he'd keep his damn hands off of you! And when he made me wear a brown wig and contacts and called me by your name I didn't cry. I took it because mother asked me to take it. When I got pregnant and mother asked me to give up the child to him and his wife I did it and I didn't cry. When I met Glinda and fell in love I didn't run away with her because mother asked me not to. Every single thing I've ever done I did for her! And she did everything for you! I hate you Regina. I hate you so much," Zelena whispered the last bit before her face crumbled, filling with tears and snot. Regina watched her, her own tears trailing down her cheeks.

"You think they never found him because your friend hid his body so well? When they found him mother bribed the police so that they wouldn't come after you. She… does so much for you, Regina. And it's not fair," Zelena whined, sniffling with shaking shoulders.

"Why did you come here… why ask for me if you hate me so much, Zelena. I don't understand," Regina murmured after a moment.

"I didn't want to hate you, Regina. I just… Glinda left me and Walsh wants to keep the children and I don't even care because I never liked any of them. Mother won't even answer my calls now. She doesn't want me anymore. She only wants you. Why couldn't she love me, Regina? I just wanted her to love me," Zelena sobbed. Regina watched her sister's trembling form for a moment before placing her hand on her thigh.

"I don't know… I don't know if you even want my help, but I've already lost so much because of that woman and I made a promise to myself to never again go back to that. Zelena… please let me help you, please," Regina pleaded softly.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_So are you here with someone?" Daniel asked as he watched her. Regina smiled up at him and nodded her head. They'd been talking for the better part of the last hour and she'd tried avoiding the topic of her relationship at all cost but, like most of her plans, it was doomed from the start._

_"__My boyfriend is the host," she said with a frown. Daniel eyed her for a moment before smiling down at her softly and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder._

_"__He's lucky to have you," he murmured with a grin. She blushed under his gaze and averted her eyes._

_"__I guess… we're going through a bit of a rough patch now. How about you? Did you come with anyone?" she questioned, changing the topic away from Graham. She'd avoided him all night and she didn't want to sore her good mood with any talk of him now._

_"__Uh, yeah, actually. My friend Suzy knows a lot of people here, I'm just along for the ride," he responded._

_"__Is Suzy your date?" Regina asked with a raised brow. Daniel shrugged and laughed._

_"__She'd like to be, I'm sure. But I've… I've got my eyes on someone else, actually. The only problem is… she's taken," Daniel said as he let his eyes rove over her. Regina blinked for a moment and blushed prettily under his intense gaze._

_"__Seems like crappy timing, then," she muttered under her breath. He smiled and licked his lips._

_"__It's all about timing, Regina. And I am… a very patient man," he said hotly, his face coming closer and closer to her own. At the last minute she turned her head and shivered as his lips landing on the shell of her ear._

_"__I hope to see you soon, Regina. I should get back to the party," he murmured with a dashing smile before slipping back into the crowded lounge from the balcony. She watched him make his way to the pretty blond from earlier, kiss her on the cheek goodbye, and then leave._

_It was minutes later when she made her own way back in, all her intentions set on finding him before he got too far away, when Graham grabbed her up and made a toast in her honor._

_"__To the most beautiful and wonderful woman I know! Without her support none of this, and I mean _none _of this would be possible. To Regina!" he cheered, followed by just about every other voice in the space. She smiled tightly and watched Tink and Mallory standing in the very front of the crowd, Tink with a huge grin on her face while Mallory coolly sipped her drink and rolled her eyes._

_Mallory's words from earlier played in her mind for the rest of the night and by the time they'd left at one she'd known exactly what she had to do._

_Because even if Daniel was a patient man she wasn't at all a patient woman, nor was she a cheater._

* * *

><p><strong>Lots happening this chapter, huh? I wanted to fit more in (a lot more actually) but then it started to feel like too much to be in one chapter so I split it up.<strong>

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays as well.**

**Drop me a line and let me know what you think.**

**(Edit: I realized I messed up on Zelena's age so I had to fix it. I'll also be editing this chapter sometime this week so there's that.)**


	14. Chapter 13

Zelena was a monster. What she lacked in talons and fangs she more than made up for with her biting tones and scathing looks. Regina supposed she should have counted herself lucky to not be on the receiving end of them for the most part. Instead nurses and doctors suffered her heated moods night and day, so much so that Regina eventually began to fear that one of them might just smother her in her sleep one night. She'd seen Zelena rip a nurse to shred when she'd delivered her the wrong flavor of jell-o and that's when she'd known she had to get her out of the hospital as soon as possible.

She spent her time between visiting her foulmouthed sister, looking for apartments for said sister, and at work. Mary Margaret still wasn't back so she ended up taking up more and more responsibilities as the weeks dragged on, trying to make up for pushing the boat load onto Mulan and Ariel when she'd taken her trip to New York.

In all honesty she was running herself ragged and contemplating finding a few new workers. She was sure Ariel and Mulan wouldn't mind and there was also the way work was getting in the way of her new therapy sessions.

She'd decided, one night while watching the sun set from her study window, where she spent more time in as the work piled up, that she needed to get herself together. She often felt like the ground she was standing on was just slipping away from her and eventually she'd find herself slipping with it. She didn't want that, she had a lot on her plate now with Henry in Maine and her sister here with her, and she had to be more grounded for them. And for herself.

She couldn't pretend anymore that living for others was something she could do without taking care of herself as well, she'd tried it and it hadn't worked and now she was here, struggling to pull together the pieces of her many fractured relationships.

And she was thankful, now more than ever, for her two friends for being so supportive of her. Mallory wasn't sold on the idea of her helping Zelena, figured it was all some huge scheme plotted by her mother, but she still supported Regina's decision. Even visited the redhead with her once, though they'd spent more time glaring at one another than talking. It wasn't the most pleasant of visits but it was a start.

And then there was Tink, who didn't even really live in the same state as her but visited her every week like clockwork. She'd even send flowers and goodie baskets to Zelena on the days she commanded Regina's full attention. She'd yet to visit the woman but it figured, they'd never known each other but all in all Tink was being more than just a bit accommodating and Regina loved her for it.

Her talks with Archie, her therapist, usually reflected her love and gratitude for her friend. Starting off with her lightly talking about those same moments of comfortable friendship, about how her friends made it seem easy to love her and how that was contradictory that was when compared with how her family had treated her.

In his small office decorated in deep reds and shades of browns, on his soft taupe suede loveseat, she poured her heart out. Henry, she'd say, was the light of her life. She loved him with all her heart, she gushed, but she wasn't sure if she was what he needed anymore. Despite her flaws, Emma was so much like him that it was a bit scary. They liked the same things, looked very similar, dressed just about the same. And if Emma had really had the chance she was sure she could have been a better mom to Henry.

He sat, listening to her without interruption, not even diverting his attention to scribble in his little notebook. He asked questions at the appropriate time, nodded so she knew he was paying attention, he seemed like the perfect listener which had unnerved her to begin with but as they continued she found that he really was as attentive as he seemed.

And he didn't judge her, even when she'd hinted at the incident that Christmas Eve. Instead he gave her sound advice about focusing more on fixing herself and the relationships that were immediately around her before trying to bulldoze her way back to Maine for her son.

Henry, he said, needed time. Time for some real self-reflection and time to grow on his own without anyone forcing him to conform to what they thought he should do. Hopefully, he continued, Henry would try to get some help of his own while away.

It was good advice, but her son was stubborn, she told him. A boy who thought he knew all about the world from reading about it as much as he didn't.

"Then he'll learn it through experience. Regina, I know you want to protect him but he doesn't want your protection right now, as a matter of fact he might just see it as no more than a hindrance right now as children often do. The right thing, no, the best thing to do is to allow him to make these mistakes and let him know that if he ever needs you that you will help in the best of your ability. That's all you can do for now. Forcing your way to Maine now, as you so want to do, won't help him. Trying to protect him from the sting of your mother's harsh personality won't help him either. There are lessons we need to learn from going through them, Regina. You know that. Henry's caught in one of these moments and he's going to have to learn from it and think about what's best for him.

And if he's anything like you it won't take him too long. You're a smart courageous woman and I'm sure your son has picked up some of those same traits. For now focus on what's in front of you. Do for you what you need done and allow others to walk their own paths. Things will fall into place as their supposed to as long as you keep pushing forward," Archie said as he walked her to the exit of his office with a soft smile.

"Thank you, Archie," she murmured with a slight nod. He smiled again.

"No problem, Regina. I hope you take what I said to heart. I'll see you next week."

* * *

><p>Sunday morning found her sitting with a disgruntled Zelena at her dinner table eating an assortment of delivered breakfast foods. Through her glaring and pouting Zelena managed to put away a stack of pancakes, four strips of bacon, and a whole ham and cheese omelette without much pause or problem. Regina, for her part, was trying her hardest to avoid her sister's gaze and instead focus on the waffle she'd been picking at for the last half hour.<p>

"I can pay for a place of my own, you know," Zelena hissed, her one good hand clutching rather tightly to the cutlery. Regina rolled her eyes and pushed her waffle from her, she hadn't had much of an appetite for the past few days anyway.

"I'm sure, but the problem is that you're still injured and hardly in any condition to be in a new environment without any company to watch out for you," Regina said back with a bored tone. They'd had the conversation almost a dozen times already and she was feeling more like the calm collected older sister than the baby sister that she was. She tried not to hold her sister's tantrums against her, she'd been raised in a house filled to the brim with malice and violence and it was a wonder that either of them had even made it out alive as it was.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child, Regina. I've been taking care of myself for far longer than we've had this little truce of ours and let me tell you… I don't need you checking in on me or helping wipe my ass. I'm more than capable of doing things on my own," Zelena bit out before taking another piece of bacon from the tray before her.

Regina just rolled her eyes and nodded her head again. They'd been through this too.

"What… is this really about? We've had this same conversation over and over since I brought you home yesterday morning and I really, really, have had enough of it," Regina stated with pursed lips.

Zelena's eyes widened then, only for a split second, before she was looking back down at her tray and shrugging off Regina's question.

"Are you going to eat your waffle?" Zelena asked instead of answering.

"No, tell me what the hell's going on with you," Regina ordered, pulling her waffle back towards her and out of Zelena's reach.

"Oh, come on, just give it to me. It's not like you're going to eat it. You haven't eaten anything but an orange since I got here. Not feeling well, baby sister?" Zelena teased.

"We're not talking about me, _Lennie_. We're talking about you," Regina bit out with a stern look on her face.

Zelena sighed and looked over to the window as a couple with their child passed by. The little girl smiled up at her mother before raising her arms and asking to be picked up. Zelena offered the sight a watery smile before turning back to face her sister.

"You know about my daughter. About how I had to give her to Leo and his wife Eva. What you probably don't remember too well is how she left him not to long afterwards. And took my daughter with her," Zelena murmured as she spun the fork in her hand on the table.

"So you want me to help you find her?" Regina asked quietly, surprised by the topic. She knew Zelena mostly resented having adopted the child she'd had with Walsh. So it was… odd to hear her bring up the topic of her long lost daughter.

"No," Zelena said quickly with a shake of her head.

"Then wha-"

"I already know where she is. And so do you," Zelena smirked, a mischievous smile playing upon her lips.

* * *

><p>Monday morning found Regina posting ads online for two part time positions at her office. She was still reeling from Zelena's confession the day before and found that the best thing for her to do was to focus her attentions elsewhere. At first she hadn't believed a work her sister said but then realized that Zelena had no real reason to lie, not when it was about her daughter.<p>

It was just so… weird knowing the truth. She could remember being twelve and hearing about Leo's wife leaving him but not much else. At that point all she'd known about the man was that he was her school's principle and that he came around too often for her taste.

He's sit with her mother and sister for hours at a time, casting his leering gaze upon her whenever he spotted her passing in the hallway or alone in the kitchen when she was trying to sneak food for Mallory. He'd not so jokingly told her how he'd keep her secret in exchange for a kiss. She'd told him that she'd rather get her legs broken instead. Something her mother had nearly done in the hours that followed.

_'How dare you insult him?! How dare you?' _she'd screeched over and over before her temper had finally cooled. Zelena was not so noticeably absent that entire night. Cora had said she was spending the night out with friends but now Regina knew the truth. She'd spent that night under Leo in a brown wig doing her mother's bidding.

"Hey, Regina, there's someone here to see you. She said you two have a counseling session today," Mulan said, poking her head into the office. Regina nodded her head and continued typing the requirements for working at her organization.

"Send her in," she murmured absently.

"Regina… I hope you aren't angry at me," Marian said from the doorway. Regina looked up quickly and then back down at the file she had open. She saved it and closed the top of her laptop with a slight sigh.

She'd spent so much time trying to figure out how to juggle her sister and work as well as the situation with Henry that she'd pushed the problems with Robin and Marian all the way to the back of her head. She figured she'd have to see Marian eventually, what with her being a part of her program, but when she hadn't seen her for the past three weeks she figured she'd just found another program to go to.

"Marian… I wasn't expecting to see you. Did we have something scheduled today?" she asked, trying to stay as professional as she could. She didn't want to talk about how betrayed and used she felt.

"I… Robin is a man who loves hard. And long. He used to be very carefree back when we were younger. He'd talk about honor and always doing the right thing, putting others before yourself. He was a great man then and I think I might have taken some of that away from him when I left. I put myself first because I needed to but I never told him why I had to go.

I changed him and I see it now, even though he's been letting me see Roland, I see he's not the same man as before. He's got this desperation, you know, kinda like back when I still needed to get high just to get out of bed in the morning. He's holding so tightly to Roland… to his heart that I'm afraid I'll never be able to mend things between us," Marian said as she slipped into the seat before her, twiddling her hands in her lap nervously.

"Is that what you came to say? That you've wounded him, I could have told you that," Regina grumbled.

"I came here… really to apologize to you. I did know when I came here that Robin lived in this area. I didn't know you were together though… and the day I came to your house I came because I wanted to speak with you. I didn't know about the two of you and you probably don't believe me. You probably feel betrayed and I would too but I really valued the relationship we were building. No one has ever helped me the way you helped me, Regina. No one believed in me and I wouldn't just throw that away, I don't want to just throw it away," Marian said tearfully. Regina looked her over and sighed heavily.

"Marian… this is all too raw for me. I can't try to jump back into being a mentor or whatever to you. I can't do that because I am… very much in love with your ex-husband. And I love your son like he was my own. And I'm fool enough to think that my relationship with said son would be nothing but a hindrance to you trying to get closer to him. I won't get in the way of that," Regina said with a sad shrug.

"Roland… talks about you a lot. When we play together he tells me about staying at your house, about missing you. And he… he calls me mama, Regina. He has enough space in his heart to just accept me like that and I know he has enough for you too. What I'm saying is… I don't want to be the reason you don't come spend time with him. Or the reason you don't see Robin. He loves you and he's so broken without you. I can't stand to see that," Marian said with a slight smile.

"Oh… um… am I interrupting something?" a new voice asked from the doorway. Regina looked over to Mary Margaret standing in the doorway with a stroller blocking the lower half of her body.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, boom!<strong>

**There it is, guys. Sorry for not posting last week, the holidays were hectic and there's was a lot going on before the New Year.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter and drop me a line to let me know what you think.**


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